Portlandia‘s sixth season wraps up with a bang this Thursday at 10P ET/PT, as a viciously delicious Noodle Monster comes to town. Will anyone survive the monster’s onslaught? Does anyone want to get noodles for lunch? They’re so tasty! Whenever anthropomorphic food pops up in our favorite movies and TV shows, our stomachs start rumbling. From talking french fries to killer tomatoes, the living lunches on this list look good enough to eat.
10. Pizza the Hutt, Spaceballs
Our worst craving come to life, Pizza the Hutt, crime lord of the Spaceballs universe, is a sad reminder that we’d probably eat anything if we’re drunk enough. All oozing, bubbling cheese and dangling pepperoni, this living slice brought us nightmares back in the ’80s, and now just make us hungry.
9. Tomatoes, Attack of the Killer Tomatoes
If the “Killer Tomato” movies teach us anything, it’s that everything wants to kill us. Even dinner. Also, that George Clooney looks pretty great with a mullet.
8. Can of Vegetables, Wet Hot American Summer
What makes a true friend? Judging by the bond Gene the cook (Christopher Meloni) and a can of vegetables (voiced by Jon Benjamin) share, friendship means never being ashamed of your true passions. If you want to smear mud on your butt, go for it. If you can, er, pleasure, um, yourself, tell the world. We do have to admit, we’ve never been as confused by the anatomy of a tin can, though.
7. Aqua Teen Hunger Force
Fans of the Adult Swim show Aqua Teen Hunger Force would recognize this happy meal anywhere. Shake, Frylock, and Meatwad began life as crime fighters, but quickly tired of the grind, and just started hanging around and going on bizarre adventures. There was no rhyme or reason to their show, outside of the fact that it always gave us the munchies.
6. The Stuff
It seems impossible to keep up with what’s good for you these days. One minute you’re supposed to avoid fatty foods, the next you have to eat the “good” fat. Kale is a superfood, but don’t eat too much or you’ll die. And “The Stuff,” the titular villain of this 1985 schlockfest, was supposed to do a body good, but instead ate your brain and turned you into a killer zombie. Forget it, we’re just going to eat whatever we want.
5. Mutton Vindaloo Beast, Red Dwarf
When the boys from the British sci-fi comedy Red Dwarf tried to turn a mutton vindaloo into a chicken vindaloo, they unwittingly created a monster. Immune to bazookas, and able to eat through solid steel, it seemed impossible to stop. That is, until they remembered “the only thing which can kill a vinadloo.” Beer! Whether you’ve got some spicy takeout or a rampaging beast, a nice, cool lager will always do the trick.
4. Singing Food, The Muppets
Jim Henson specialized in bringing surprising things to life, from sexy pigs to talking doorknockers, but his menagerie of singing fruits and vegetables always felt like the perfect healthy snack in the middle of some Muppets anarchy.
3. The Lord Our God Ice Cream Sundae, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter
With the production value of a ’70s porno, Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter didn’t exactly break box office records, but it did have one of the weirdest talking food scenes we’ve ever seen. Part acid trip, part schizophrenic episode, God choosing to communicate with his vampire hunting son through a bowl of talking ice cream made us feel like it might be time to get back on the meds.
2. Stay Puft Marshmallow Man, Ghostbusters
Poor Ray. All he had to do was clear his mind. Instead, one thought kept popping up. The most harmless thing imaginable. Something from his childhood. Something that could never, ever destroy the whole world. Stay Puft, a living, breathing marshmallow. If the world has to end, at least let the flames of hell smell like s’mores.
1. The Hamburger, Better Off Dead
Savage Steve Holland’s 1985 comedy opus Better Off Dead brought us a lot of surreal visuals and bizarre moments. But the one that’s always stood out was John Cusack’s Frankenstein burger come to life, rocking out to the sweet licks of Van Halen. It’s alive! And it rocks!
Get a sneak peek of Portlandia’s Noodle Monster!