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DID YOU READ

Fred and Carrie Reveal the Meaning of “A-O River!” and More on Reddit

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In their continuing quest to get the entire world jumping up and down in excitement simultaneously and tip the world on its axis long enough for Portland to have four extra days of sunshine a year, Portlandia co-stars, co-creators, co-writers and co-producers Fred Armisen and Carrie Brownstein did a Reddit AMA yesterday.

You should read the whole thing (here), but these are some of the best parts:

Peter and Nancy are my favorite characters on the show. What was the inspiration for Peter’s pasta addiction and will they go anymore adventures like starting a B&B??

Fred: That came from a real dinner that Carrie and I had in Los Angeles. And we were looking at the menu, and we just thought “well obviously we can’t order pasta, so I guess we have to order this.” So we started talking about, why do we have to avoid pasta so much? So it was more that we were weighing the difference between the difference between enjoying life and really living, or ordering salmon.

Carrie: or salad. And we talked about how, on our deathbeds, we aren’t going to say “I’m so glad I ate so many salads.” And then we watched jealously while this hearty Australian couple at a giant bowl of pasta. And were really unhappy.
Fred: I forgot about that.

Carrie: We sat and watched it like porn.

Fred, have you ever “touched Bill Hader’s butt?”

Fred: I think the question is, have I ever NOT touched Bill Hader’s butt? Frequently, often, and SNL can often be stressful, so a good butt massage…

Carrie: My question is: Cheeks, crack or anus?

Fred: My question is: Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday? Any day will do.

Will there be a dream of the 1790s?

Fred: That’s not a bad idea.

Carrie: I don’t think they had dreams in the 1790s.

Fred: It was a very transitional time. They were just getting over the revolutionary war.

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited for brunch?

Carrie: Probably 45 really angry minutes.

Fred: Same, probably the same brunch as Carrie. I’ve been so angry that I’ve left to go get food at diners.

Was that chicken’s name actually Colin or was that just a stage name?

Fred: The chicken is in CAG (the Chicken Actor’s Guild) so… we can only use his legal name for credit.

Carrie: Fred and I both dated Colin for a bit.

Fred: And please, nobody freak out about this. It’s 2014, love is love, we’re not marrying Colin, we didn’t have any babies, but it’s modern times.

Fred, has anyone ever told you that you have beautiful eyes?

Carrie: All the time! All the time people do! That’s why he had to start wearing glasses, because it was distracting people. Imagine two unicorns walking around. That’s what Fred’s eyes are like.

Fred: My eyes are like two unicorns tied together.

Did you ever figure out what A-O River! meant?

Fred: It’s almost like “attention! This way! I’m here! This is my location!” Carrie made it up.

Carrie: My dream is that a river rafting guide uses it in their prep talk. Or that somebody announces that before they start their period.

What is the dream of the 90s?

Fred: Lollapalooza for ever, and ever and ever. Mainstage, side stage, all of it.

Carrie:
I think the 90s had this…monolithic quality to them. Because it was pre-9/11, and everybody thought we were veering towards the Millenium, with all of these institutions in place, and the notion of the future was that it was going to keep getting bigger and better. It seems like a pre-anxiety decade to me.

What haven’t you pickled yet?

Fred: Pickles. We haven’t done a double pickle yet. Like we’ve never gotten a jar of pickles and picked that. Brand-new concept.

Carrie:
I’m not a huge fan of pickles. But I would be interested in pickling pizza. I would just take an entire pizza and pickle it. That’s one of the most disgusting things I can think of.

Fred:
You would need a big, huge, flat jar.

Fred, Can I borrow 20 bucks?

Carrie: I’m sorry Fred, I wrote that in.

Fred: I put that in your ATM. Go to your ATM and withdraw $20. That $20 is from me.

Want the latest news from Portlandia? Like them on Facebook and follow them on Twitter @IFCportlandia and use the hashtag #portlandia.

Portlandia returns to IFC on Thursday, February 27, 2014 at 10/9c

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…