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DID YOU READ

“Mixology” Revisited

cocktails

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On last week’s “Portlandia,” we learned just how far Portlanders will travel for a bizarrely obscure cocktail—all the way to the badlands of Los Angeles. Luckily, most of us don’t have to go much further than up the street (or, y’know, to the Pearl) to find a mixed drink you never knew existed because you have no idea how to even pronounce what’s in it. Here, bartenders from five of the city’s best cocktail bars offer some of their most arcane recipes for your imbibing pleasure. Getting hammered has never been so…abstruse!

Beaker and Flask
720 SE Sandy Blvd., (503) 235-8180

From owner Kevin Ludwig:

Zanahorita

2 oz reposado tequila
3/4 oz lime juice
3/4 oz triple sec
1 oz fresh carrot juice
1/2 oz simple syrup
pinch of cumin

Shake and strain over ice in a salted rim glass. Garnish with a dusting of cumin.

Sal’s Minion

2.5 oz good, aged rum
3/4 oz pineapple gomme

Pour the above over four large coconut water ice cubes and stir.

Grounded for Life

1.5 oz Mazama Pepper Vodka
3/4 oz triple sec
3/4 oz fresh lime
3/4 oz simple syrup
1 oz fresh celery juice

Shake and strain into a salted rim glass.


Gruner
527 SW 12 Ave., (503) 241-7163

From bartender Dave Shenaut:

Rest for the Wicked

1 oz Zirbenz Stone Pine Liqueur
3/4 oz Krogstad Aquavit (It’s local!)
3/4 oz lemon juice
3/4 oz 2:1 clover honey syrup
3/4 egg whites

Combine. Shake without ice, then add ice and shake again. Fine strain into a chilled cocktail glass, then with an eye-dropper drop dots of creme de violette and etch out little hearts with a toothpick.


Secret Society
116 NE Russell St., (503) 493-3600

From bartender Michael Sellers:

The Orchard

2 oz applejack
1/2 oz lillet blanc
1/2 oz cynar
3/4 oz cranberry juice
3 dashes of orange bitters served up

Applejack is pretty cool because you don’t see it pop up in too many cocktails these days. It is from one of the oldest distilleries in America; I believe it dates back to the 1750s. It is kind of a cross between calvados and grain whiskey. The other kind of obscure liquor in this is cynar, which is an Italian bitter liquor made from artichoke hearts. You put all these things together and you get a kind of woody, apple-like, complex, boozy glass of goodness.


Teardrop Cocktail Lounge
1015 NW Everett St., (503) 445-8109

From bartender Daniel Shoemaker:

African Swallow

Martin Miller’s Westbourne Strength gin
Homemade blood orange shrub
Homemade Kina Lillet
Elixir Vegetale

Blood orange shrub: A hybrid between a colonial shrub and the more modern Creole Shrubb (produced by an Agricole Rhum family). Fresh blood orange juice and zest, balsamic vinegar reduced with sugar and spices (licorice root, sarsaparilla root, marshmallow root, Szechuan peppercorns, green cardamom), macerated with high-proof rum, and finally barrel-aged in new French oak for nine months.

Kina Lillet: The aperitif changed its recipe in the early ’80s, removing some of the bittering agents and making it lighter and more bright orange. This is our house approximation of the original formula.

Elixir Vegetale: From the same monks who make green & yellow chartreuse, this is a much more concentrated, higher-proof version of the same.



Whiskey Soda Lounge
3131 SE Division St., (503) 232-0102

From operations manager Matthew Adams:

Gin Apple Rickey

1 oz apple drinking vinegar
1.5 oz of gin

In a tall glass, pour the drinking vinegar and gin over ice. Fill with soda water, squeeze a lemon wedge over the top and garnish with an amarena cherry.

IFC_Portlandia-S8_best-of-skits_subaru-blog

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…