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Kazaam

Drop the Mic

The 10 Worst Fictional Rappers

Find out how Marc deals with his rapping roommate on a brand new Maron this Wednesday at 9P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Everett Collection

The musical equivalent of a terrible improv comedy show, lousy rappers act as the nails on the chalkboard of artistic expression. Instead of dope rhymes, we get a waste of time, listening to wannabes vomit verbal slime. (See how easy it is?!) Some of the best so-bad-they’re good rhymes come courtesy of fake rappers from the ’90s, that decade when everyone thought all you needed to do to be a hip hop MC was grab a mic and talk over a beat. In honor of Marc’s new rapping roommate Trey (Chet Hanks) on Maron, check out some fictional rappers who should’ve dropped the mic before they opened their mouths.

10. Brad ‘B-Rad’ Gluckman, Malibu’s Most Wanted

Jamie Kennedy played the world’s whitest rapper in this flop comedy that tried to spoof Eight Mile, and ended up spoofing itself.


9. The Leprechaun, Leprechaun: In The Hood

You know with a title like Leprechaun: In The Hood, it was only a matter of time before the minuscule monster took to the mic and laid down some awful rhymes. And boy did he not disappoint.


8. Barney The Master Rapper, Fruity Pebbles commercial

You know your new sound has gone mainstream when Saturday morning cartoon characters start aping it to sell breakfast cereal.


7. Kazaam the Rapping Genie

This clip tries to answer the age-old question: who would you rather listen to rap, a ten-year-old white kid or a NBA player pretending to be a genie? The answer, unsurprisingly, is neither.


6. Sgt. Friday and Det. Streebek, “City of Crime” from Dragnet

Before Chet Hanks laid down some rhymes on Maron, his pop Tom made a hip hop video with Dan Aykroyd for their 1987 Dragnet remake. Too bad “City of Crime” was Tom Hanks’ one and only rap video. Check out those dance moves.


5. David Silver, Beverly Hills 90210

Brian Austin Green had a short-lived hip hop career in the ’90s, thanks in no small part to the rhymes he laid down as David Silver on Beverly Hills, 90210. Really though, is David’s flow any worse than ’90s Canadian rapper Snow?


4. Grandmaster B, Married With Children

Grandmaster B apparently came out of Bud Bundy actor David Faustino rapping around the set, and the Married With Children writers finding it hysterical, much to the young MC’s surprise.


3. Bart Simpson, “Do the Bartman”

A relic from the days when Simpsons-mania first swept the nation, Bart’s single “Do the Bartman” topped the charts for a brief period in 1990. Listen carefully and you’ll hear Bart super fan Michael Jackson singing back-up vocals.


2. Mc Skat Kat

First coming to fame in the Paula Abdul “Opposites Attract” video, animated hip hop feline MC Skat Kat somehow scored his own album, The Adventures of MC Skat Kat and the Stray Mob, in 1991. Paula Abdul appeared in the video for the “Skat Strut,” a low point in her career, which is saying a lot.


1. MC Steve Urkel, Family Matters

Everything about this clip screams 1990s. First you’ve got Urkel, the uber nerd who turned Family Matters from a family sitcom into a show about robots and love potions through sheer force of will. Then there’s the awful rapping, and the very special message, in this case against gun violence. And, just for good measure, there’s a Freddie Prinze Jr. cameo, just to bring it home. Ah, the ’90s, you sideburn wearing, hippity hop-aping decade. We miss you.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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WTF Films

Artfully Off

Celebrity All-Star by Sisters Weekend is available now on IFC's Comedy Crib.

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Sisters Weekend isn’t like other comedy groups. It’s filmmaking collaboration between besties Angelo Balassone, Michael Fails and Kat Tadesco, self-described lace-front addicts with great legs who write, direct, design and produce video sketches and cinematic shorts that are so surreally hilarious that they defy categorization. One such short film, Celebrity All-Star, is the newest addition to IFC’s Comedy Crib. Here’s what they had to say about it in a very personal email interview…

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IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a fancy network executive you just met in an elevator?

Celebrity All-Star is a short film about an overworked reality TV coordinator struggling to save her one night off after the cast of C-List celebrities she wrangles gets locked out of their hotel rooms.

IFC: How would you describe Celebrity All-Star to a drunk friend of a friend you met in a bar?

Sisters Weekend: It’s this short we made for IFC where a talent coordinator named Karen babysits a bunch of weird c-list celebs who are stuck in a hotel bar. It’s everyone you hate from reality TV under one roof – and that roof leaks because it’s a 2-star hotel. There’s a magician, sexy cowboys, and a guy wearing a belt that sucks up his farts.

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IFC: What was the genesis of Celebrity All-Star?

Celebrity All-Star was born from our love of embarrassing celebrities. We love a good c-lister in need of a paycheck! We were really interested in the canned politeness people give off when forced to mingle with strangers. The backstory we created is that the cast of this reality show called “Celebrity All-Star” is in the middle of a mandatory round of “get to know each other” drinks in the hotel bar when the room keys stop working. Shows like Celebrity Ghost Hunters and of course The Surreal Life were of inspo, but we thought it
was funny to keep it really vague what kind of show they’re on, and just focus on everyone’s diva antics after the cameras stop rolling.

IFC: Every celebrity in Celebrity All-Star seems familiar. What real-life pop personalities did you look to for inspiration?

Sisters Weekend: Anyone who is trying to plug their branded merch that no one asked for. We love low-rent celebrity. We did, however, directly reference Kylie Jenner’s turd-raison lip color for our fictional teen celebutante Gibby Kyle (played by Mary Houlihan).

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IFC: Celebrity seems disgusting yet desirable. What’s your POV? Do you crave it, hate it, or both?

Sisters Weekend: A lot of people chase fame. If you’re practical, you’ll likely switch to chasing success and if you’re smart, you’ll hopefully switch to chasing happiness. But also, “We need money. We need hits. Hits bring money, money bring power, power bring fame, fame change the game,” Young Thug.

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IFC: Who are your comedy idols?

Sisters Weekend: Mike grew up renting “Monty Python” tapes from the library and staying up late to watch 2000’s SNL, Kat was super into Andy Kaufman and “Kids In The Hall” in high school, and Angelo was heavily influenced by “Strangers With Candy” and Anna Faris in the Scary Movie franchise, so, our comedy heroes mesh from all over. But, also we idolize a lot of the people we work with in NY-  Lorelei Ramirez, Erin Markey, Mary Houlihan, who are all in the film, Amy Zimmer, Ana Fabrega, Patti Harrison, Sam Taggart. Geniuses! All of Em!

IFC: What’s your favorite moment from the film?

Sisters Weekend: I mean…seeing Mary Houlihan scream at an insane Pomeranian on an iPad is pretty great.

See Sisters Weekend right now on IFC’s Comedy Crib

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