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Cujo

When Cute Animals Attack

10 Cuddly Killer Animals You Don’t Want to Mess With

Spend National Puppy Day with Cujo this Wednesday, March 23rd starting at 1:45P on IFC.

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Photo Credit: Warner Bros.

Since the dawn of movies, filmmakers have been finding ways to make us run in terror from adorable critters. Sometimes it works, creating classics like Cujo, airing on IFC this Wednesday, March 23rd in honor of National Puppy Day. Sometimes the results are more cuddly than bone-chilling. But either way, these beasts are more in the mood for blood than kibble. Take a look at some aww-dorable animals you probably won’t be posting on your “OMG CUTE!” Pinterest page.

10. The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog from Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Holy Grail 1

Holy Grail 3

No need to soil your armor, no matter how scared you are. As long as you don’t get too close, The Killer Rabbit of Caerbannog is just a harmless little fuzzball. Just ignore all those skeletons, and focus on his wiggling pink nose and itsy bitsy paws. What a cutie! It’s only if you get up close that, well, things can go a little awry. And even then, what’s the worst that could happen? Just a flesh wound at the most. Few ferocious killers are cuter than this little bunny rabbit, who just happens to treats humans like the walking carrots they are.


9. Ben the Rat from Willard

Rysher Entertainment

Rysher Entertainment

Okay, sure, maybe Ben did lead a horde of rats to devour the one man who ever showed them kindness. But if you can get past those tiny details, just look at that little bugger! All mushy fur and soft whiskers, Ben was an adorable lil’ pal before having to make some hard choices. Look, it ain’t easy out there for a rat when the whole world is conspiring to kill you. He really was a great friend there for awhile. Don’t believe us? Just ask Michael Jackson, whose 1972 ballad “Ben” served as the theme song for the film and celebrated the one-of-a-kind love between a boy and his rat.


8. The Dilophosaurus that killed Newman from Jurassic Park

Universal Pictures

Universal Pictures

Hello, Dilophosaurus. Hello, Newman. Just wanting to get the hell out of Jurassic Park and sell his illicitly gained dinosaur embryos, disgruntled programmer Dennis Nedry wasn’t really in the mood to make friends with this cute lil’ munchkin. Grateful not to come across one of the Dilophosaurus’ bigger friends, he tried a game of catch to distract the playful dino. Unfortunately, the only thing Big Dilo was looking to chase down was Dennis himself. But what a cute duo they made before Newman became lunch.


7. General Woundwort from Watership Down

Nepenthe Productions

Nepenthe Productions

As depicted in this dark animated adaptation of Richard Adams’ classic children’s novel, General Woundwort is a seriously bad dude. He maims cats and kills rivals, all in his singular pursuit of power. He’s not to be crossed. He will put you down. Oh, he’s also an adorable little bunny rabbit, with fluffy brown fur and a dark green eye. If he wasn’t an avowed mortal enemy of humans, we might just want to snuggle with him.


6. The Bear from Grizzly

Columbia Pictures

Columbia Pictures

The bear from the 1976 “animals gone wild” movie Grizzly is a bloodthirsty killing machine. But, much like Hannibal Lecter or Freddy Krueger, the actor portraying the beast was anything but. Teddy, an 11-foot-tall Kodiak bear, was brought in to play the murderous monster, and he proved to be the best part of this forgettable “Jaws on land” ripoff. In fact, Teddy wasn’t as interested in killing humans as he was in eating marshmallows. To get him to roar, the trainer would feed him a few, then hold another one in front of his face. The director would shoot as Teddy reached for the snack, and then add the roar later. A marshmallow-loving giant teddy bear who could rip your face off with one swipe of his claws? Now that’s adorable.


5. The Pussycats from Strays

What would you do if you moved into your dream house, only to find that a stray cat lived there? You’d probably welcome it into the family. And what if another showed up? And another? And another? And they tried to kill you? Okay, that’s when things get a little tricky. Still, this story of the original grumpy cats has an all-star cast of feline cuteness.


4. The Bunnies from Night of the Lepus

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer

If you’re in the mood for some giant, roided-out furballs with a taste for blood, you could do a lot worse that this 1972 schlock fest. But try as they might, casting a bunch of dopey bunnies as mutant killers terrorizing a small town doesn’t exactly work. You can cover a rabbit in fake blood, and shoot them on tiny sets to make them appear huge, but at the end of the day, their cute-sy faces and perky ears make them look more like they’re leaving chocolate eggs than killing your entire family. Silly Rabbit, murder is for humans and killer bears.


3. The Sheep from Black Sheep

New Zealand On Air

New Zealand On Air

Just because someone carried out scientific experiments on the poor sheep in this New Zealand horror comedy, turning them from docile vegetarians into blood thirsty carnivores, doesn’t mean it’s their fault. They crave human flesh. That’s all they know. Okay, their bite turns people into half-human/half-sheep monstrosities, but that’s just an unfortunate side effect. If you can get beyond all of that, these fluffballs are as soft as your favorite sweater, and just asking for a big hug. Just avoid their teeth. Can’t stress that enough.


2. The Monkey from Monkey Shines

Orion Pictures

Orion Pictures

Another poor animal experimented on by a mad scientist. If only these evil geniuses would do peer reviewed work inside the system, the animals could be left alone to just be adorable. This time master of horror George Romero brings us the story of a medically-altered helper monkey carrying out revenge for his paralyzed master. And the little fella does such a good job of it, too. Let’s hope he was getting lots of treats for every murder.


1. The Pooch from Cujo

Warner Bros.

Warner Bros.

Who’s a good boy? Okay, not Cujo. He’s a horrible boy. But it isn’t his fault. He had bat rabies! Why don’t you go get bat rabies, and see who you end up killing? Jeez. This B-movie, based on the Stephen King book, was a modest hit at the time, and has developed a cult following over time. One of the reasons why is Cujo himself. Sure, he’s a killing machine, but he rivals Hooch on the movie dog adorability scale. What could be cuter than a goofy Saint Bernard lathered in corn syrup, wagging his tail as he pretends to eat people? Maybe he was a good boy after all.

Celebrate National Puppy Day with Cujo on IFC!

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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