This week on Comedy Bang! Bang!, Scott Aukerman and Kid Cudi spoof ’80s instructional videos with their “How to Host a Talk Show” primer. (Even Reggie Watts gets in on the action with his “How to Band Lead” music video.) Grab your Crystal Pepsi and join us for a look back at the heyday of cheesy corporate instructional videos.
10. Grill Skill Burger Rap
It’s a shame that “meat’s got grain to it just like wood” never joined “Baby Got Back” or “Mo Money, Mo Problems” in the hip hop lexicon.
9. 1991 Nintendo Training Video
We’re not sure what “Generic ’90s Business Guy” actually did to that filthy NES system, but we’re kind of on the store clerk’s side with this one.
8. Wendy’s Cold Drinks Rap
Less of a rap and more akin to whatever Debbie Harry was doing in the Blondie song “Rapture,” this musical ode to the most efficient and cost effective way to serve cold drinks is still pretty catchy. Remember to always use the scoop to fill the cup with ice unless you want to be out of work faster than a protagonist in a Bruce Springsteen song.
7. 1990 Blockbuster training video with Buster Sales
With his cool tie and no-nonsense attitude, “Buster Sales” was the Blockbuster employee training video answer to Bart Simpson. Though there’s a good chance he exists entirely in the mind of the bored clerk in the video.
6. Windows 95 Instruction Guide with Jennifer Aniston and Matthew Perry
Remember when Microsoft enlisted Friends stars Matthew Perry and Jennifer Aniston to help explain all the radical stuff you could do with the hot new Windows ’95? Could this beeeee any more ’90s?
5. Chili Can Be Served With Cheese
The Wendy’s corporate training video production team really had all their bases covered. In case an employee forgets that you should always stir chili in a figure-eight motion, all they need to do is remember this catchy song.
4. Blockbuster’s Siskel & Ebert spoof
Critics Driscoll and Egbert review films like “Beaverton Hills Cop IV” and a black-and-white French arthouse flick directed by Francois Faux-Pas, all of which conveniently take place in Blockbuster Video stores. But it’s the staff’s commitment to customer service that really gets the thumbs up from the duo.
Things take a decidedly weird turn in part 2, where Egbert and Driscoll review a coming-of-age tale about a young boy who discovers classic cinema while creepily flirting with an adult Blockbuster employee.
3. Don’t Copy That Floppy
Thanks to this helpful rap, the kid in this video won’t be guilty of software piracy. But he is guilty of having awesome ’90s hair.
2. Kid’s Guide to the Internet
Don’t get mixed up in all that “cybernet” stuff, kids.
1. Wendy’s Hot Drinks Song
Proper beverage handling and serving guidelines have never been this funky. (Check out Reggie Watts’ take on this viral classic.)