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Milla Jovovich Kicks Ass in Funny or Die’s ‘Pippi Longstocking’ Reboot

Pippi Longstocking Milla Jovovich

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In case you didn’t get the memo, superhero movies are all the rage. Between Marvel and DC, we’re in an age where Hollywood is trying to make the most epic BLANK vs. BLANK movie of all time. But for some reason, no one has transformed Pippi Longstocking into the next big hero. If anyone can do it, it’s Milla Jovovich. The zombie-fighting action starlet suited up as the freckled redhead with mismatched socks for a new Funny or Die sketch, and the most depressing moment of the entire video is realizing this is not an actual movie.

Producer Clint “brother of Ron” Howard’s reasoning for an action-packed Pippi Longstocking movie is fairly sound. If Gremlins, Point Break, RoboCop, Mad Max, Terminator, Spider-Man, Escape From New York, Big Trouble In Little China and every other film and concept from pop culture history can all be rebooted, why can’t Pippi? She’s the hero we might all be waiting for.

Unfortunately for Howard, the idea was just too provocative for the Hollywood execs, which is crazy when you think about how Snow White became a soldier in Snow White and the Huntsman and Frankenstein’s monster became a demon-fighting vigilante. But, in their defense, a love interest by the name of Assius who can fire lightning bolts out his dung hole is not the easiest character to digest. The moral of the story, though, is that it just takes the right person to sell it, as we see when Ed Begley Jr. gets his hands on the material.

Pippi is basically the Joe Dirt of superhero movies and is probably a major cash cow. Although, we discovered with Ant-Man that not all heroes are created equal; the C-list comic book character earned Marvel its lowest opening weekend numbers since 2008, even though it still earned the top spot at the box office. Perhaps they need a touch of James Gunn. If that guy can make a talking raccoon lovable, then why not Pippi and her comrade with lightning farts?

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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