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The Rock to Board the Porkchop Express for Big Trouble In Little China Remake

Big Trouble in Little China

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The current cultural climate of remaking classic films is physically unbearable at times, but The Rock is here to make this genre a whole lot more enjoyable. Dwayne Johnson is in talks to lead the upcoming remake of Big Trouble in Little China, the action movie made famous by Kurt Russell and director John Carpenter. Can we all just collectively decide that Johnson should star in everything from now on? Except for San Andreas. No one needs more of that.

The news of Johnson’s involvement was reported by The Hollywood Reporter and The Wrap, both of which say Johnson is in talks to join the film as a producer and the star. And in other news, there’s going to be a Big Trouble in Little China remake!

The original film was a cult hit, starring Russell as Jack Burton, an all-American trucker manning the Pork Chop Express who gets wrapped up in a centuries-old mystical battle in Chinatown. “They told him to go to hell, and that’s just where he’s going.” There’s a lot more awesome lines like that in the film.

The Rock would succeed the actor in this role, though presumably it’ll be updated just a bit more for modern audiences. Because we all know Millennials won’t understand what the heck is going on if there’s not a reference to Sia or if Burton’s truck isn’t a fuel-efficient hybrid.

Johnson has been killing it lately — with the exception of San Andreas. He’s starring in his own HBO series called Ballers, he has a role in Disney’s Hawaiian-themed Frozen follow-up Moana, and he’s set to star as the DC comics villain Black Adam in the Shazam movie in 2019. There’s no better person to play Burton than this uber-masculine, incredibly lovable former wrestling champ with a heart of gold.

Well, except for Kurt Russell. Hopefully he’ll at least show up in a cameo. And can John Carpenter return to direct? The following GIF expresses our feelings about the possibility of a Carpenter/Russell return:


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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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