Picture it: The year is 1980-something. You’re a young man of a certain age. You’re watching some innocuous comedy, about a nerd who switches bodies with a jock, or a schlub who drives cross country to meet the girl of his dreams. Typical stuff. Some jokes. Maybe a Kenny Loggins song. But in the 1980s, there was one more thing you were likely to stumble upon. Something that would change your life forever.
That thing was BOOBS.
They were everywhere. You’re watching a VHS copy of some family comedy with your grandma, and there they are. You’re up late watching cable on a sleepover, and whoops!, there are those hungry, hungry hippos. There was no escaping them, which led to loads of confusing and enlightening feelings over the years. Here are a few of those magical moments that kickstarted puberty for an entire generation.
12. Daisy and her Dukes on Dukes of Hazzard
When we first tuned in, it was for those no good rascals The Duke Boys. But as we grew older, our focus shifted. Soon we barely noticed the car chases and hijinks. Something, or someone (and her iconic short shorts) was distracting us.
11. The Bundy Gals on Married With Children
Before Married With Children debuted, the sexiest thing on a sitcom was Phylicia Rashad’s knowing smirk. Peg and Kelly Bundy blew the old school out of the water, and we spent the next decade glued to the screen.
10. Duran Duran’s “Girls On Film” Music Video
MTV was something our older brother watched. It was cool, mysterious, and confusing. Cool guys singing about cool things. Like girls. Specifically ones on film.
9. Jamie Lee Curtis in Trading Places
A comedy classic, this movie had it all. Eddie Murphy at his peak. Hell, Aykroyd at his too. And some scream queen trying to break into the big time with her wits, her charm and her…Oh dear lord. Mom, I’ll be in the other room.
8. Bond Girls
We were emphatic. There had never been, and never would be, a better Bond than Roger Moore. He was charming. Dashing. Sure, he looks a little like grandpa. And did he just say a pun? But this movie about a half octopus, half pussy cat sounds promising. That is what it’s about, right?
7. The Popular Girls in Can’t Buy Me Love
Here’s one of the many movies from the ’80s that tried to teach us that popularity didn’t matter, while showing us how amazing it was to be popular. The rewards of being the big man on campus ranged from rocking out the African Anteater Ritual to doing certain adult things in the backseat of cars.
6. The Big Reveal in Just One Of The Guys
Years before The Crying Game, our young libidos were put to the test. You can keep your blonde cheerleaders. We’ll take the “boy” in the corner, with a very big secret. We can’t show you how Joyce Hyser proves she’s a girl, but we’re betting you remember it pretty clearly.
5. MTV Spring Break
A strange, magical place filled with tanned coeds and Adam Sandler, the MTV Beach House was the stuff of legend when it first appeared in 1986. Sure, now we know it was just a cesspool of OSU frat brothers and herpes, but at the time, it seemed like heaven on earth.
4. Lisa in Weird Science
The concept might not have been the most P.C., but then again, P.C. didn’t even exist back then. Heck, this was a John Hughes movie. That nice boy Anthony Michael Hall was in it. It’s like a sci-fi The Breakfast Club. We can take the whole family, right? Right?
3. Jessica Rabbit in Who Framed Roger Rabbit
Okay, this was a children’s movie, right? Bugs Bunny is in it! Mickey freakin’ Mouse! But then Jessica Rabbit walked in, and made Eddie Valiant, and by extension everyone in the audience, seriously confused about what they were feeling.
2. Princess Leia’s Gold Bikini
Gold bikini. Those two words represent a sea change to men of a certain age. The irony of George Lucas adding Ewoks to Return of the Jedi to appeal to kids while simultaneously making men of his young audience is best left for Mr. Lucas and his therapist to sort through.
1. The Pool Scene in Fast Times At Ridgemont High
The standard by which all ’80s babes are measured, Phoebe Cates became the stuff of legend in one quick fantasy sequence. A classic movie to begin with, this short scene has become as iconic as Marilyn on the subway grate or Clark Gable not giving a damn.