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The ‘Ted 2’ Red-Band Trailer Is Extremely Not Safe For Work (Obviously)

Ted 2 trailer

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Don’t watch this one at work, kiddies! The new Ted 2 trailer has hit the Interwaves, and its band is as red as your cheeks will be when you watch Mark Wahlberg try and get hard in a sperm bank waiting room. Actually, as far as a preview for a Seth MacFarlane movie goes, it’s actually as you would expect.

Watch all the NSFW hilarity below.

Of course, there’s a ton of pot smoking, phallic humor involving Red Lobster and Tom Brady’s allegedly golden member, jokes about slavery and other “shocking” material, all tied neatly together with the question of “what does it mean to be human?” But, frankly, you don’t go see Ted 2 to discover what binds us all together. You go for Tom Brady golden member jokes.

As the Ted 2 trailer explains, the sequel to MacFarlane’s comedic hit will see the foulmouthed teddy bear trying to have a baby with his girlfriend, Tami-Lynn. Ted doesn’t have the juice to do it. In fact, we’ve been trying to figure out how he’s been having sex — or, rather, what he calls sex. So he needs a sperm donation. Cue NSFW sperm bank gags. But Ted ends up having a bigger problem on his hands…

He has to prove in a court of law that he’s human, which shouldn’t be too big of a problem when your lawyer is 26 years old, smokes a ton of pot for her “migraines” and is Amanda Seyfried.

If this Ted 2 trailer is any indication, there’s going to be a lot more inappropriate shenanigans. And we’d expect nothing less from the man who had Neil Patrick Harris defecate in a bowler hat in A Million Ways to Die in the West.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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