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DID YOU READ

An Open Letter to Star Wars By Someone Who Was Burned By the Prequels

Star Wars: Force Awakens

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Dear Star Wars,

It’s been a long time. How are you? I hear you’re doing well and really working at trying to get your act together. You look great, I won’t lie, and despite everything we’ve been through I was genuinely happy to see you. Seeing you reminded me of old times, of why I fell for you in the first place. You look like the Star Wars I always knew and loved.

But I’m cautious, Star Wars. I mean, I want this to work. I want us to work, but can you blame me for having my doubts? For being scared of falling in love all over again only to end up hurt, betrayed, and confused by the mess you ended up causing?

It took me a long time to get over what happened. I’m still not sure I’m really over it. Are you? I mean, you say you are and that you want to wipe the slate clean. To start over. To be the Star Wars you once were, but can you?

I’d be lying if I said I don’t watch the original trilogy and pine for what we once had. You were so innovative back then. All the action, the humor, the romance; the way you managed to make me believe in and love things that seemed so utterly unbelievable like Wookies and Jawas and sentient robots that seemed like real people. I’ll admit I even thought Ewoks were cute, even if they seemed to serve little purpose and slowed things down.

But then things got…weird. I know that people change, but you just went off the rails. You seemed to suffer from delusions and grandeur. You became revisionist, embellishing and rewriting what existed between us for so long. Maybe it was overconfidence, maybe it was arrogance, maybe it was a desperate attempt to seem relevant and inventive in a time when so many new things were available. (I understand that 3D is tempting, but did you really have to go there?)

You started associating yourself with some questionable people. They say you are the company you keep, so what does it say about you that you spent so much time with Jar Jar Binks? I get that you clearly have daddy issues, but after a look at the prequels, aka “Anakin: The Early Years,” we ALL have issues with your father. And his being a Sith isn’t one of them.

I had some hope when I heard Boba Fett would be in the prequels, until he ended up being an annoying little kid that served no purpose other than messing with my emotions.

Stormtrooper

And poor Obi Wan. What did he ever do to you, to us, to deserve to struggle through that sketchy time in your life, carrying the weight of your mess on his shoulders? His memory deserved better than that.

It’s been a long time for us, Star Wars. We literally grew up together. We needed to take a break, and maybe it was for the better. I needed to see other movies, explore various universes, try on a few different franchises, maybe even fall for a few new heroes. But I won’t pretend I didn’t compare a lot of them to you.

Now we’re both older, hopefully wiser. You’ve made some better friends, like this J.J. guy, and he seems to bring out the best in you. The you I fell in love with. Yeah, there’s still some feelings there, but I just don’t know if I can trust you again just yet. But I may be willing to try if you are. I just need to see a little more effort on your part first. Like maybe one more trailer where we see Han shoot Greedo’s grandson first.

Yours,

A lapsed (yet hopeful) fan

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…