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DID YOU READ

10 Most Quotable Lines from the Vacation Movies

NATIONAL LAMPOON’S VACATION, Anthony Michael Hall, Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Dana Barron, 1983

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When you have the comedic firepower of the National Lampoon franchise behind your movie — and actors like Chevy Chase and Randy Quaid — you can bet it’s going to be stuffed to the brim with unforgettable lines. Case in point: the Vacation series. Here’s 10 of the best from the

10. “Oh, God – the dog wet on the picnic basket!”

Clark’s flirtation with Christie Brinkley gets cut abruptly short when the sandwich he’s eating is revealed to be urine-soaked, but the dog got his just desserts in the end.


9. “Hey look, kids, there’s Big Ben, and there’s Parliament.”

European Vacation exposed the Griswolds to the nightmare that is a British-style roundabout, and the frustration was palpable.


8. “I got laid off when they closed that asbestos factory, and wouldn’t you know it, the army cuts my disability pension because they said that the plate in my head wasn’t big enough.”

Randy Quaid’s Cousin Eddie is one of the most dependable laugh-getters in the series, but when we first meet him in Vacation he drops some serious bummers.


7. “Why don’t you give me half the money you were going to bet, we’ll go out back, I’ll kick you in the nuts and we’ll call it a day?”

Wallace Shawn makes an unforgettable cameo as a dealer who milks Clark for everything he’s worth and more in Vegas Vacation.


6. “Sorry, folks. We’re closed for two weeks to clean and repair America’s favorite family fun park.”

When the Griswolds finally reach Wally World, they’re confronted by an animatronic mascot who delivers bad news before being socked in the mush by Clark.

5. “She’s got her mama’s looks and her daddy’s sense of balance.”

When the Griswolds check in on Cousin Eddie and his crew in Vegas Vacation, Clark and Rusty get weird feelings from the exotic dancing of Cousin Vicki.


4. “I want to look him straight in the eye and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, d***less, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey sh** he is! Hallelujah!”

The arrival of an envelope from Clark’s boss in Christmas Vacation takes him on a roller coaster of joy and fury, making for a transcendent rant.


3. “Dad, Grandma’s from Chicago.”

When the Griswolds arrive in Germany, Clark gets a little emotional until Rusty sets him straight on his ancestry.


2. “Don’t go puttin’ none of that stuff on my sled, Clark. You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced, cause every time Catherine revved up the microwave I’d piss my pants and forget who I was for a half hour or so.”

Cousin Eddie’s head plate makes a return in Christmas Vacation’s iconic sledding scene.


1. “This is no longer a vacation. It’s a quest. It’s a quest for fun. You’re gonna have fun, and I’m gonna have fun… We’re all gonna have so much f***ing fun we’re gonna need plastic surgery to remove our goddamn smiles!”

Clark’s meltdown as the family approaches Wally World in the first Vacation is one of the greatest cinematic freakouts of all time.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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