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DID YOU READ

The 10 Biggest Jerks in Holiday Movies

Buzz Home Alone

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Holiday movies are packed with beloved characters. Perhaps that’s what makes the jerks, a-holes and dirtbags in our favorite seasonal classics stick out like expired eggnog.

Often the worst characters in holiday films aren’t straight-up villains — they’re the every day slimeballs who’re just as greedy, lazy and self-serving on Christmas as they are the other 364 days of the year. As we approach Christmas Eve, take a look at our salute to the nastiest characters in holiday movies. It’s the perfect antidote to the season of heartwarming treacle.

10. Mark, Love Actually 

Yeah, yeah, it’s sooo sweet when he holds up those cue cards for Keira Knightley that say she’s perfect or whatever. But keep in mind he’s crushing on his best friend’s wife. Dude literally was best man at their wedding a week before he took Sharpie to poster board. Mark must have ice water running through his veins, cause that’s just cold.


9. Grover Dill, A Christmas Story

Sure, Scut Farkus is a douche, but you kind of feel bad for him after the vicious beating he receives from that BB gun-toting psycho Ralphie. But look at Scut’s flunky, the oddly named Grover Dill, with his dumb hat and that face that’s just asking for Ralphie’s fists of fury. At least Scut’s an individual. Grover’s just a boot-licking toadie dressed like Marlon Brando in The Wild One.


8. Concierge, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York 

Tim Curry’s snooty concierge tries to harsh Kevin’s NYC buzz from the moment he enters the Plaza. A child in the lobby of New York City’s finest hotel (cira 1992)?? Not on Concierge’s watch. He’s the smarmiest character in the movie, which says a lot in a film that features both Uncle Frank and a cameo from Donald Trump.


7. Todd and Margo, National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

With their shiny tracksuits and fancy stereo system, the Griswolds’ neighbors Todd (Nicholas Guest) and Margo (Julia Louis-Dreyfus) are basically walking cliches of late ’80s yuppie excess. They aren’t all that friendly to the Griswolds or even that nice to each other. (“Why is the carpet all wet, Todd??” “I don’t know, MARGO!!”) Still, you almost feel bad for them. They didn’t ask to be plagued by trees crashing through their window and random squirrel attacks.


6. Buzz, Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

In the first Home Alone, Kevin’s older brother Buzz is your average dimwitted bully with an unfortunate looking girlfriend. But in the sequel he shows a whole different level of smarm when he puts Kevin on “trial” in front of his entire family. (It’s safe to say Buzz grew up to be a sleazy lawyer of the Saul Goodman variety.) Though we still have no idea what a “trout sniffer” is.

5. The Rest of the McCallister Family, Home Alone and Home Alone 2: Lost in New York

Really, outside of the mom, are the McCallisters all that concerned that little Kevin is stuck home alone/lost in New York? Papa McCallister makes zero effort to get back to Kevin in either movies. Both brothers tease and bully him constantly. His sisters use phrases like “helpless idiot” and “Les Incompetent” right to his face. And what do they get for their behavior? A trip to Paris in Home Alone and a bunch of free gifts at the end of Home Alone 2 that they did absolutely nothing to earn. Had Macaulay Culkin returned for a third outing, the title should’ve been Home Alone 3: Motion for Emancipation.


4. Ghost of Christmas Present, Scrooged 

You would think that Bill Murray’s network exec Frank Cross would be the biggest jerk in the movie, seeing as how he’s the Scrooge stand-in. But Carol Kane’s perky Ghost of Christmas Present has him beat, at least in the random violence department. Kane’s ghost takes pleasure inflicting physical harm on Frank, be it via a swift kick between the legs or a toaster to the face. She should team up with that budding psychopath Kevin McCallister. Imagine the horrific torture they’d inflict upon their enemies.


3. Marcus, Bad Santa

Marcus, the double-crossing elf assistant to Billy Bob Thornton’s titular Santa, ends up being the real bad guy of this dark holiday classic. As Buddy would say, he’s quite the angry (and gun-toting) elf.


2. Mr. Gower, It’s a Wonderful Life

Besides being a drunk who nearly poisons his customers, Emil the cranky pharmacist smacks young George around and makes his ear bleed. Mr. Potter’s bad and all, but he never smacked a kid in his bum ear.


1. Uncle Frank, Home Alone 

Is there a more loathsome character in holiday movies, nay, in all of pop culture, than Uncle Frank? He’s cheap (he spends two movies mooching off of his brother), selfish (he’s more concerned about forgetting his glasses than Kevin’s well being) and sings off-key in the shower. You can just feel his hatred towards Kevin (and, really, all children) in his oft-quoted line from the first Home Alone. (“Look what ya did, ya little jerk!”)

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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