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12 Summer Movie Sequels We Wish Were Real


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Yes, the summer movie season is always chock full of sequels and prequels and reboots and what-not, but they’re not always the ones we want. Here are 12 ideas for some hot summer flicks that we’d love to see breathe life into some dormant franchises.

12. Jaws vs The Sharknado

When faced with an unstoppable force of nature, mankind turns to the original menace of the sea for help.

11. The Vega Brothers

This one should have happened, as Quentin Tarantino’s Vic Vega from Reservoir Dogs and Vincent Vega from Pulp Fiction weren’t coincidentally named. Here’s what it might’ve looked like.

10. Soylent Green of the Apes

Combining two Charlton Heston movies will most certainly explain what the apes will do with all the people once they rule the planet.

9. Transformers vs. Pacific Rim vs. Godzilla

In an effort to sever the unfortunate link between Transformers and punishing cinematic stupidity, give them to Guillermo Del Toro and/or Gareth Edwards and let them go hogwild with a mind-blowing three-franchise mash-up.

8. 2 Land 2 Dead

In George A. Romero’s Land of the Dead, the zombies started communicating and thinking. Next time, they’ll be stunt racing day-glo hot rods!

7. Harry Potter and the Clan of Cullens

Yeah, the whole Twilight thing has thankfully ker-thunked into irrelevance now, but if J.K. Rowling is still writing new Harry Potter stories, surely she could have the Hogwarts grads deal with that gaggle of pasty, brooding suckheads and put the bow on top of that ker-thunk.

6. Fully Baked

Now that Dave Chappelle is back in business, the time is right for a Half Baked sequel. It would be worth it for the behind-the-scenes stories alone.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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