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The Definitive Ranking of Orlando Bloom’s Movie Hotness


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14. Sympathy For Delicious

This character's name is "The Stain" and that says it all.

Photo courtesy of Maya Entertainment/Everett Collection

13. Elizabethtown

So basic.

Photo courtesy of Paramount / Everett Collection

12. The Lord Of The Rings

He's okay — if you like like little blond elves.

Photo courtesy of New Line / Everett Collection

11. Three Musketeers

That goatee and mustache combination is not a good look for anybody.

Photo courtesy of Summit Entertainment / Everett Collection

10. The Good Doctor

Nobody looks good with Justin Bieber hair.

Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures / Everett Collection

9. Haven

Sexy times!

Photo courtesy of Yari Film Group Releasing / Everett Collection

8. Main Street

It's nice to see him with a shaved head for once!

Photo courtesy of Magnolia Pictures / Everett Collection

7. New York, I Love You

Who wouldn't want to be on the other end of that phone call?

Photo courtesy of Palm Pictures / Everett Collection

6. Troy

Everybody likes a hot, buff gladiator.

Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. / Everett Collection

5. Ned Kelly

Smoldering stare — take me!

Photo courtesy of Focus Features / Everett Collection

4. The Calcium Kid

Hot boxer? Yes, please!

Photo courtesy of Universal Pictures / Everett Collection

3. Kingdom Of Heaven

No shirt? No problem. (The sword is an added plus.)

Photo courtesy of 20th Century Fox / Everett Collection

2. Black Hawk Down

Who doesn't love a man in uniform?

Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. / Everett Collection

1. Pirates Of The Caribbean

Break us off a piece of Will Turner's pirate booty!!

Photo courtesy of Disney Studios / Everett Collection
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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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