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DID YOU READ

What to watch on IFC: November 12-18

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If you still have an election hangover or are just anxiously biding time until Thanksgiving we have all the movies you’re going to need to help get you through. From “The Spirit” to “Edward Scissorhands” to “Transporter 3” we have something for everyone.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Start the week out right by staring deep into the limpid pools of Nicolas Cage’s eyes. We’re showing “Lord of War” at 8/7c and you can make eyes at Cage as he plays an arms dealer who is trying to stay one step ahead of his business rival while being pursued by a relentless Interpol agent (Ethan Hawke) who is determined to track him down. No wonder those eyes look so so sad.

Tuesday

We all know that Tuesday is just another Monday in disguise, but we have just the cure: A double dose of Jason Statham. Starting at 8/7c we have back to back showings of the “Transporter 3” where you can watch Statham reprise his role as Frank Martin the in-demand driver for those who just can’t work with Fed Ex.

Wednesday

It’s the end of the world as the Mayans know it, and they don’t feel fine at all. We’re showing “Apocalypto” at 8/7c and as the end of the Mayan civilization draws near, a man makes a desperate bid to escape being a human sacrifice and return to his family and the woman he loves.

Thursday

We’re showing “The Spirit” at 8/7c. Watch as Denny Colt (Gabriel Macht) a highly decorated cop who was gunned down on the job is resurrected as The Spirit, a masked crimefighter sporting a startling red tie and a superhuman resistance to pain and injury. He faces off against a villain known as the Octopus (Samuel L. Jackson) in this adaptation of Will Eisner’s comic.

Friday

Tim Burton’s “Edward Scissorhands” airs tonight at 10:30/9:30c. Johnny Depp stars as a deceased inventor’s (Vincent Price in his last role) unfinished creation with scissors for hands and pasty pallor. When the Avon lady comes calling, Edward becomes an instant celebrity when the cheery suburbanite (Dianne Wiest) brings him home.

Saturday

Kiera Knightley stars as a teenage soccer player in “Bend It Like Beckham” at 5:30PM/4:30c. The movie focuses on Parminder Nagra as an Anglo-Indian teenager who just wants to kick a soccer ball and joins a soccer team despite the fact that her tradition-minded parents are opposed to it.

Sunday

Spend your Sunday laughing when we show back-to-back episodes of Bunk, our hilarious game show where the winner is the comedian-contestant who makes the audience –or at least host Kurt Braunohler– laugh the loudest. The fun and games start at 10:15 a.m./9:15CT.

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…