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DID YOU READ

What to Watch on IFC: April 23 – 29

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We were never great at Latin, but there is one phrase we remember: Carpe Diem! And you’ll want to carpe that diem when you see what we have on the schedule this week. From “Napoleon Dynamite” to Monty Python to Tarantino we have all your favorites. So go ahead and carpe that diem all night long. Diem means couch, right?

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

We’re kicking the week off right by airing “Teeth” at 9:45 p.m. ET. If you don’t know the movie, it’s like a women’s studies class minus the college tuition plus massive amounts of horror. If a woman with extra teeth in unexpected places doesn’t fill you with terror, how about being left alone in the ocean? “Open Water” starts at 8 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

We’re showing “Monty Python’s Life of Brian” at 8 p.m. ET, so now is probably a good time to wrap the couch in plastic, because you’re about to wet yourself laughing. Even if you need to change your pants, just remember to always look on the bright side of life.

Wednesday

Way before “Black Swan,” director Darren Aronofsky was making us twitch with “Requiem for a Dream.” The dark drug-fueled drama, based on the novel by Hubert Selby Jr., stars Jared Leto, Jennifer Connolly, Marlon Wayans and Ellen Burstyn so you know the acting is top notch, too. The “fun” starts at 11 p.m. ET.

Thursday

Do it right on Thursday night by stocking up on Doritos and Mountain Dew and watching some of Tarantino’s finest work. Yep, we’re showing “Kill Bill.” In “Kill Bill: Vol. 1,” which starts at 8 p.m. ET, watch as Uma Thurman awakes from a coma, to seek vengeance against her former boss and his ruthless gang (Lucy Liu, Vivica A. Fox). Then the action continues at 10 p.m. ET, in“Kill Bill: Vol. 2,” Uma Thurman goes after the man’s younger brother (Michael Madsen) and her one-eyed counterpart, before confronting her former boss (David Carradine).

Friday

Get your Friday Night Frights with back-to-back bloodshed from IFC. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” starts at 8 p.m. ET followed by “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning.” We got all the thrills and chills here.

Saturday

While spending your Saturday night watching a gawky teenager (Jon Heder) from an odd family (Jon Gries, Aaron Ruell) help his new friend run for class president against a popular student sounds pathetic, when it’s the movie “Napoleon Dynamite” you know you’re winning Saturday. The movie starts at 6 p.m. ET.

Sunday

In 1971 London, a car dealer (Jason Statham) and his gang of thieves break into a bank vault and find far more than cash and jewelry. That’s right, we’re showing “The Bank Job” and if you don’t watch, Jason Statham will find you and make you. It start at 8/7 c. Don’t be late!

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…