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Hasbro delivers a boat-load of “Battleship” toys

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Last week, we received a special delivery from S.H.I.E.L.D. full of “The Avengers” movie toys. This week, we received a box full of fun from the U.S. Navy — specifically, the “Battleship” division.

Okay, so the “Battleship” box didn’t actually come from any official branch of the government, but hey, toys!

With Peter Berg’s sci-fi spin on the classic Hasbro game hitting theaters May 18, it’s no surprise that the promotional machine is revving up and that the line of products sporting the “Battleship” logo includes quite a few toys. Still, that doesn’t mean there wasn’t a surprise or two waiting for us in Hasbro’s big box of “Battleship.”

You have to hand it to Hasbro for knowing how to create a promotional package — and we’re not even talking about the contents of the box.

Made to look like it’s wrapped in metal plating, the “Battleship” box is riddled with faux bullet holes that are both painted on and actual holes in the cardboard (there’s another box inside that holds the products). The lid of the box flips up to display an interior illustration that makes it look like a HUD-style monitor, complete with fold-out sides (also illustrated with various radar screens and gauges), and a lenticular decal showing one of the alien ships from the film in its sights.

The remaining cardboard flap covering the contents of the box is made up to look like the control panel of the “Battleship” board game, and has a red “Fire” button. Pressing the button invokes the sound of a torpedo being launched at — and destroying — the alien ship.

And we haven’t even made it to the contents of the box yet…

(Confession: It took about 10 minutes for us to actually get to the contents of the box, as we spent an shameful amount of time repeatedly pressing the “Fire” button and giggling like a six-year-old. *shrug* It happens.)

Inside the box was a portable version of the Battleship “Movie Edition” Game, as well as a pair of large KRE-O sets (Hasbro’s equivalent to LEGO building blocks) based on the film — complete with alien invaders and a building-block replica of the U.S.S. Missouri. There was also a “Battleship” dog-tag necklace and a copy of the “Battleship” iPhone game. (What, no love for us Android owners?)

However, the most interesting item in the “Battleship” box wasn’t a toy at all.

The box also contained a Rocawear brand t-shirt with what we can only assume is a tagline from the film: “Ain’t Gonna Make A Move Unless I Got A Plan. B6.”

We’re not sure what that means, but we’re sort of fascinated by the partnership between Jay-Z’s urban fashion company Rocawear and the “Battleship” movie. While it’s probably a one-time thing, testing the cross-promotional waters, we can’t help hoping for Rocawear clothing lines tied to all of Hasbro board-game movies. Heck, Jay-Z could even make My Little Pony seem cool.

Many thanks to Hasbro for the big box of “Battleship” toys, and a nice reminder that “Battleship” hits theaters May 18.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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