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DID YOU READ

What to Watch on IFC: March 19 – 25

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Whoa, where did March go? We may have lost track of the month while wiling away the hours at SXSW, but who can blame us when we’re watching Youth Lagoon, Built to Spill, and live presentations of Comedy Bang! Bang!? Or maybe you’re lost in March Madness? Whatever the reasons it feels like March is marching along. We have lots of great shows to entertain you while March rushes out like a lamb.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Got a case of the Mondays, Garfield? We have the cure: Kill Bill Vol. 1 and 2 airing back to back beginning at 8 p.m. ET. Watch Uma Thurman kick some serious Monday ass in Quentin Tarantino’s epic sprawling homage to action films.

Tuesday

In “Sin City,” Frank Miller’s award-winning comic comes to life in dramatic black and white that spills the action into the streets of the ultimate town without pity. The film is filled with tough-as-nails ladies including a stripper named Nancy (Jessica Alba) and a prostitute named Goldie (Jaime King) along with Rosario Dawson, Alexis Bledel, Devon Aoki, and so many more. Tune in at 8 p.m. ET.

Wednesday

You’re mama always said to watch out for the dangers lurking in Halloween candy, but she probably should have included “Hard Candy,” too. Find out why at 8 p.m. ET when we show David Slade’s twisted cat-and-mouse game starring Ellen Page as both predator and prey.

Thursday

Fact: In space, no one can hear you scream. So when a close encounter of the third kind becomes a gut-busting (literally) nightmare when an alien invades a spacecraft in Ridley Scott’s sci-fi horror classic, there’s no point in crying. So Ellen Ripley (Sigourney Weaver) kicks some alien butt instead. Tune in at 8 for “Alien” followed by David Fincher’s equally terrifying “Alien 3” at 10: 30 p.m. ET.

Friday

Friday Night Frights returns with “The Descent” at 8 p.m. ET. If you ever wanted to go spelunking, you may want to watch this movie first. In the film, a group of close female friends on a yearly adventure vacation find themselves trapped and hunted in a series of caves by an unknown force that lurks in the shadows. Fun, right? Well, fun to watch anyway.

Saturday

Just in case you missed it on Monday, because of your annoying day job thingie, or if you just can’t get enough of Uma Thurman in a yellow jumpsuit, we are showing Quentin Tarantino’s “Kill Bill Vol. 1 and Vol. 2” back-to-back again. If you watch closely enough you too can learn to fight your way out of a coma/coffin/bullet to the head and how to kill David Carradine with one hand tied behind your back. Add those skills to your resume and you may end up with a better day job.

Sunday

Perfect plan: Spend Sunday eating cake on the couch as you watch Sophia Coppola’s “Marie Antoinette.” If anyone tries to make you go outside, just yell, “Off with their heads!” a few times and they’ll get the hint. The cake-eating dance party starts at 3:15 p.m. ET

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

Always on

Slightly off