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The Onion News Network is Moving to Fridays

The Onion News Network is Moving to Fridays (photo)

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Breaking News: Straight from the highly secure bunker where the Onion News Network controls its attack satellites, comes this important announcement: Beginning next week, IFC’s Onion News Network will be moving to Friday nights at 10pm ET/PT. Tuesday is just not good enough for America’s most informative news show.

Next week, spend your Tuesday night wagering on an illegal spouse fighting ring, failing Spanish, punching a guy in his stupid goddamn face, entering the GOP presidential race, or training your children to use a touchscreen in the hopes that they too can some day be a Tucker Hope.

Do whatever you want on Tuesday, but tune in on Friday at 10/9 c to watch a new episode of Onion News Network. And you’ll want to see Friday’s episode when FactZone’s lead anchor, Brooke Alvarez, is suspended due to mental breakdown after a new documentary reveals her traumatic past as a child cosmonaut. Not having anyone even remotely qualified to replace Brooke in the anchor’s chair, the network is forced to replay that morning’s episode of “Today Now.” Jim and Tracy put on fat suits to see how overweight people are really treated, interview a country music star who’s very popular with meth heads, and meet a cancer-sniffing dog

Here’s a classic, yet still timely news story to tide you over until Friday Nov. 11:

New episodes of the “Onion News Network” air on Fridays at 10/9 c

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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