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God help us if Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky” musical looks (and sounds) anything like this

God help us if Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky” musical looks (and sounds) anything like this (photo)

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As a boxer, Rocky Balboa was famous for his tenacity. In the face of impossible odds, the guy just wouldn’t quit. Sylvester Stallone, the man who created and portrayed Rocky, is sort of the same way. He retired Rocky once after 1990’s “Rocky V” then brought him back sixteen years later for “Rocky Balboa.” Now, five years after the latest “last” “Rocky,” he’s bringing the character back again, this time on the stage.

That’s right. Get ready for “Rocky: The Musical.”

The Hollywood Reporter reports that Stallone is producing a “Rocky” musical which will premiere in Germany next fall in advance of an English language world tour. If you’re wondering whether classic “Rocky” musical moments like “Eye of the Tiger” will be recreated on the stage, the answer, apparently, is yes. From THR‘s article:

“Broadway veteran Thomas Meehan (‘The Producers’) will write the script to ‘Rocky: The Musical.’ ‘Ragtime”s Tony-award winning lyricist Lynn Ahrens and composer Stephen Flaherty will re-team for the music, which will include songs from the ‘Rocky’ films, among them ‘Eye of the Tiger,’ ‘Gonna Fly Now’ and ‘Take You Back.’ Tony Award nominee Alex Timbers will direct.”

By the way, who wrote “Take You Back?” You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

Believe it or not, this will not be (Sly) Stallone’s first foray into the musical genre. He sang repeatedly in the 1984 camp classic “Rhinestone” with Dolly Parton. She played a honky tonkin’ lounge singer who bets her shady boss she can make anyone into a country western superstar; Stallone was the unlikely subject of her transformation. The result? Uh, this.

Yes, call him Drinkenstein. Or call him Career Suicidenstein. Either or.

“Yo, Adrian! I’m tone deaf!”

Thankfully, Stallone’s not the star of “Rocky: The Musical,” just the producer. And, as I’ve written on this site before, weirder things have been turned into musicals. Who knows? “Rocky: The Musical” has got some talented people involved; maybe it’ll be a big hit. Still, I’m not sure i’m ready for songs like “Yo, Adrian!” and “One More Round (Cut Me, Mick)” and of course, the future classic “Pound That Meat.”

Do you want to see a “Rocky” musical? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or write to us on Facebook and Twitter.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.

Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.


Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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