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God help us if Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky” musical looks (and sounds) anything like this

God help us if Sylvester Stallone’s “Rocky” musical looks (and sounds) anything like this (photo)

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As a boxer, Rocky Balboa was famous for his tenacity. In the face of impossible odds, the guy just wouldn’t quit. Sylvester Stallone, the man who created and portrayed Rocky, is sort of the same way. He retired Rocky once after 1990’s “Rocky V” then brought him back sixteen years later for “Rocky Balboa.” Now, five years after the latest “last” “Rocky,” he’s bringing the character back again, this time on the stage.

That’s right. Get ready for “Rocky: The Musical.”

The Hollywood Reporter reports that Stallone is producing a “Rocky” musical which will premiere in Germany next fall in advance of an English language world tour. If you’re wondering whether classic “Rocky” musical moments like “Eye of the Tiger” will be recreated on the stage, the answer, apparently, is yes. From THR‘s article:

“Broadway veteran Thomas Meehan (‘The Producers’) will write the script to ‘Rocky: The Musical.’ ‘Ragtime”s Tony-award winning lyricist Lynn Ahrens and composer Stephen Flaherty will re-team for the music, which will include songs from the ‘Rocky’ films, among them ‘Eye of the Tiger,’ ‘Gonna Fly Now’ and ‘Take You Back.’ Tony Award nominee Alex Timbers will direct.”

By the way, who wrote “Take You Back?” You guessed it: Frank Stallone.

Believe it or not, this will not be (Sly) Stallone’s first foray into the musical genre. He sang repeatedly in the 1984 camp classic “Rhinestone” with Dolly Parton. She played a honky tonkin’ lounge singer who bets her shady boss she can make anyone into a country western superstar; Stallone was the unlikely subject of her transformation. The result? Uh, this.

Yes, call him Drinkenstein. Or call him Career Suicidenstein. Either or.

“Yo, Adrian! I’m tone deaf!”

Thankfully, Stallone’s not the star of “Rocky: The Musical,” just the producer. And, as I’ve written on this site before, weirder things have been turned into musicals. Who knows? “Rocky: The Musical” has got some talented people involved; maybe it’ll be a big hit. Still, I’m not sure i’m ready for songs like “Yo, Adrian!” and “One More Round (Cut Me, Mick)” and of course, the future classic “Pound That Meat.”

Do you want to see a “Rocky” musical? Tell us your thoughts in the comments below or write to us on Facebook and Twitter.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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