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DID YOU READ

What’s on Indie Screams This Week

What’s on Indie Screams This Week (photo)

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It’s the last week of Indie Screams, so we brought out all the stops. We’re going to scare your pants off so hard you won’t find them until Christmas.

Here’s what to watch this week on Indie Screams:

Wednesday

Double doses of terror at sea when “Open Water” and “Open Water 2: Adrift” air back to back beginning. These movies are so scary you’ll be a landlubber for life. Grab a life preserver and see you at 8 p.m. ET.

Thursday

During a boring, routine weekend, young Glen (Stephen Dorff) and his best buddy, Terry (Louis Tripp), discover a strange hole in the backyard. Consulting one of his heavy-metal record albums, Glen comes to the conclusion that “The Gate” is actually the Gate to Hell. Offering a sacrifice in the form of a dead dog, Glen further opens the portals of Hades, through which pass some of the most hideous demons imaginable. Tune in at 9:30 a.m. and/or at 4:15 p.m. ET or you’re next.

Friday

In Kingdom of the Spiders a swarm of huge tarantulas, enraged by the misuse of pesticides, try to take over their part of the world. Dr. Robert Hansen (William Shatner), a local Arizona veterinarian joins forces with entomologist Diane Ashley (Tiffany Bolling) to keep the spider population under control. It’s a cult classic and favorite of several generations of giant insect horror film buffs. It starts at 4 p.m. ET.

Saturday

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy” — or, rather, a homicidal boy in Stanley Kubrick’s eerie 1980 adaptation of Stephen King’s horror novel, “The Shining.” With wife Wendy (Shelley Duvall) and psychic son Danny (Danny Lloyd) in tow, frustrated writer Jack Torrance (Jack Nicholson) takes a job as the winter caretaker at the opulently ominous, mountain-locked Overlook Hotel so that he can write in peace. Jack starts acting more and more erratically as isolation and writers’ block and some seriously bad ju ju set in. The nightmares start at 8 and again at 11 p.m. ET.

Sunday

Cabin Fever director Eli Roth skips the humor of his freshman feature and goes straight for the jugular in “Hostel.” It’s an unrelenting scare-fest about a pair of libidinous American backpackers seeking cheap thrills in the European countryside. Tune in at 9 p.m. ET or be tortured for eternity.

Monday

We have a full day of terror lined up as we celebrate Halloween a.k.a Pedophiles’ Christmas a.k.a. the best day of the year. The highlight of the day starts at noon ET with a full marathon of “Dead Set,” the mini-series that looks at what would (will?) happen when the zombie apocalypse takes down the set of Big Brother.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…