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DID YOU READ

What to Watch on IFC: October 3 – 9

What to Watch on IFC: October 3 – 9 (photo)

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Welcome to October! Fall is in the air along with the sounds of screaming. That’s right, Indie Screams kicked off on Saturday with an all-day fright fest. But don’t think the scares end there. Almost every day this month we’re showing something to scare your socks off from “The Descent” to “Sweeney Todd” and everything in between. Plus, on Tuesday, the Onion News Network returns for a second season of the best news show anywhere.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

Meet the Pieman …or rather, become meat for The Pieman. In tonight’s installment of Indie Screams, tune in for “Dying Breed” when a Tasmanian Tiger researcher finds herself in a land where human meat is scarce, and it’s not just the tigers who are hungry.

Tuesday

The Onion News Network returns for a second season tonight at 10/9 c. Tune in for the premiere as the ONN prepares to broadcast the earth’s final moments and also for classic stories like this:

Wednesday

Prom night gets interesting when the theme is zombies. The seniors big night is crashed by the undead in in “Dance of the Dead” at 7 p.m. ET. It’s kind of hard to enjoy an intimate dance when your classmates are trying to eat your brains, and when the tux-clad teens begin turning blue and munching on flesh, it’s impossible for them to pick a prom queen. It’s a night to remember, for sure.

Thursday

Horror icon George A. Romero effectively hits the “reset” button on his hugely influential Dead series with “George A. Romero’s Diary of the Dead,” a scaled-back look at the zombie apocalypse as told from the perspective of a student filmmaker who sets out to shoot a low-budget fright film, but instead captures the breakdown of modern society at the decaying hands of flesh-eating ghouls. It starts at 9:30 p.m. ET.

Friday

Eli Roth skips the humor of his freshman feature “Cabin Fever” and goes straight for the jugular in “Hostel.” It’s an unrelenting scare-fest about a pair of libidinous American backpackers seeking cheap thrills in the European countryside. Confront your fears at 9 p.m. ET.

Saturday

Get back-to-back terror with a double dose of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Kick things off at 8 p.m. ET with Michael Bay’s reboot of the horror classic “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre.” Then go back to the beginning of the most horrifying legend in the history of cinema as director Jonathan Liebesman explores the nightmarish origins of the psychotic Hewitt family in “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginnings.” at 10 p.m. ET

Sunday

You may have heard the big news that creator Mitch Hurwitz is planning on bringing “Arrested Development” back for new episodes as well a (dare we say?) movie. We’re celebrating the Best. News. Ever. with a marathon of “Arrested Development” beginning at 10:45 a.m. ET. Tune in and make some magic:

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…