Co-hosting FactZone on Onion News Network is a dream come true for Tucker Hope, affording him the chance to work side-by-side with the most respected name and most beautiful face in news, Brooke Alvarez. Tucker takes his job duties seriously, whether it’s reporting a breaking story on his trusty ReconWall touchscreen monitor or running out to get Brooke a protein shake. Before starting his job at the FactZone, Tucker attended six weeks of “Hope Camp” where he and other job candidates honed their touchscreeen-tap skills and received rigorous training in the correct pronunciation of “Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.” Brooke has called this iteration of Tucker “perhaps the most obsequious Tucker yet,” which Tucker considers the highest compliment he could ask for.
Well, it was all he could ask for until the FactZone introduced its newest piece of technology: an updated touchscreen that Tucker could control with his mind. Fortunately for us, but unfortunately for Tucker, the new “Brainwall” started to display Tucker’s darkest thoughts. Once again the Onion News Network forged new territory in journalism.
Here’s one of our favorite Tucker Hope stories:
New episodes of “Onion News Network” air Tuesdays at 10/9c