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Every “Final Destination” death in one supercut

Every “Final Destination” death in one supercut (photo)

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Just in time for “Final Destination 5,” here, via the folks at Screened, is every death from the first four “Final Destination” films — insert obligatory joke about four successive films each with the word final in the title — in one handy, dandy, and extremely bloody video. Unless you work in a butcher shop, this video is definitely NSFW.

I’d never seen any of the “Final Destination” films until recently, when I watched the first movie as part of my research for my list of The 25 Oldest Looking Teenagers In Movie History; “FD1″‘s Kerr Smith ranked in at number 22. Aside from the odd geriatric high schooler in the cast, I was actually pretty impressed by the film. The kills were gory and suspenseful, sure, but the really scary part of the original “Final Destination” was its bleak, fatalistic worldview. Struggle and rage all you want, the film says, death is going to get you in the end. That’s some heavy stuff for a schlocky slasher movie. There’s no better movie villain than Death Incarnate, since that’s one baddie we all have to face at some point.

After I saw “Final Destination” I put it to Twitter to find out whether the three sequels were worth my time. No, was the resounding response, though there was some support for the second film, which is the only sequel that connects in a strong narrative sense to the first “Destination.” It’s not very fair to judge movies solely on the basis of out-of-context clips of their bloodiest moments, but I sort of see why my followers voted the way they did. The first “Final Destination” is played straight. The sequels turn the premise — Death rectifying an accounting error by systematically murdering people who’ve previously escaped a gruesome fate — into an excuse for over-the-top executions. If you’re a fan of the first “Nightmare on Elm Street” or “Halloween,” you know this is not an uncommon happenstance in the world of horror. Horror franchises routinely remove the most intellectually stimulating parts of their concepts for sequels that go straight for the goose bumps.

Still, compiled in this fashion, you have to give the “Final Destination” creators some credit. They are very good at killing people. Death must watch these things with a Moleskine. No doubt he’ll be there taking notes when “Final Destination 5” opens this Friday.

Are the “Final Destination” sequels worth your time? Tell us in the comments below or on Facebook and Twitter.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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