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David Gordon Green’s “Suspiria” remake will probably star unknowns, be humorless

David Gordon Green’s “Suspiria” remake will probably star unknowns, be humorless (photo)

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One creepy ballet movie may have been enough for Natalia Portman this decade. The Oscar-winning “Black Swan” star made headlines in 2008 when she became attached to David Gordon Green’s new take on Dario Argento’s “Suspiria,” but Green has since changed his casting wish list and now wants to go with less recognizable faces.

“We’re actually going to start casting this fall,” Green told IFC. “I can’t say for sure but I’m leaning towards unknowns and lesser knowns, so it’s more discovery in the parts.”

The “Pineapple Express” director sounded hopeful that he would be able to head to Germany soon to begin work on his humorless re-envisioning of the 1977 cult classic.

“I feel it’s something that would be a cool genre spin on what ‘Suspiria’ is, but also has my fingerprints on it and has a sense of strange elegance to it at the same time,” he explained.

According to Green, he submitted a budget last Friday, and if all goes well, he’s looking to make “an uncompromised movie” inspired by the original.

“I’ve had a lot of fun with dramatic movies like with ‘Snow Angels’ putting a ton of humor in it, and have an absurdity in it and relieve the tension,” he said, “but I feel like for ‘Suspiria’ to really work the way we’re designing it, it should just basically be a one-note opera that lasts for 80 minutes.”

Tampering with cult legends always runs into risky territory. You can end up with Neil LaBute’s “The Wicker Man,” but on occasion something much better, such as Zack Snyder’s “Dawn of the Dead,” can slip through.

For the sake of Argento’s legacy and Green’s reputation, we’re all hoping that the new “Suspiria” falls into the latter’s category of respectable re-workings.

Are you excited to see what David Gordon Green can make of “Susperia”? Let us know below or on Facebook or Twitter.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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