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Five Mickey Rourke Roles In Order of Scariness

Five Mickey Rourke Roles In Order of Scariness (photo)

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Hey you, want to spend the afternoon with a psychopath? You will when we tell you that the psychopath in question is Mickey Rourke in “Fall Time.” If you haven’t seen it, the violent thriller stars David Arquette, Jason London and Jonah Blechman as high school seniors who think it would be fun to pull a harmless prank. And so it begins. As the boys are fake robbing a bank and shooting blanks, real life bad guys Florence (Mickey Rourke) and Leon (Stephen Baldwin) are pulling an actual armed robbery at the same bank. In the confusion, the boys get mixed up with the real criminals, who take the teenagers hostage. The fun really begins when Florence and Leon tell the boys they’ll release them only if they pull an actual bank job. The boys grudgingly agree, but end up grabbing the girl (Sheryl Lee) instead of the cash.

Mickey Rourke is so perfectly cast as the creepy and evil Florence that we got to thinking about some of his other roles. So we made a list.

Five Mickey Rourke Roles In Order of Scariness:

5. Randy ‘The Ram’ Robinson in “The Wrestler.” I’m not saying he’s not brilliantly acted, but do you want to be stuck in an elevator with him? No you do not.

4. Teddy the Arsonist in “Body Heat.” His name says it all.

3. Ivan Vanko/Whiplash in “Iron Man 2” Yes, perhaps “Iron Man 2” was not the coolest or edgiest movie ever, but Ivan Vanko is a scary scary man and when he’s all dolled up as Whiplash? Don’t even front that he’s not completely terrifying.

2. Florence in “Fall Time” Unstable and given to sadistic tendencies, he robs banks for the money and tortures teenage boys for fun. A real delight.

1. The Husband in “The Follow”. This one is a bit obscure, but Wong Kar-Wai directed a short film for a BMW ad campaign and Mickey Rourke plays an abusive stalker husband who hires Clive Owen to follow his wife.

Of course this is all just a trick question. None of Mickey Rourke’s characters are nearly as scary as the man himself:

Further proof:

So, what role are we forgetting? Tell us in the comments, on Facebook, or on Twitter.

“Fall Time” airs today at 3:30 p.m. ET; Saturday, Jun. 18 at 6:05 a.m. ET; and Thursday, Jun. 30 at 6 p.m. ET

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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