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Five Things We Would Rather Watch Than The Royal Wedding

Five Things We Would Rather Watch Than The Royal Wedding (photo)

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As you may have heard, the future King of England is getting hitched tomorrow. The elaborate marriage ceremony of Prince William to commoner (it could have been you!) Kate Middleton is scheduled to start at 11 a.m. London time, which is 6 a.m. ET and 3 a.m. PT. A certain set of the global population is very very excited for this event. Seriously, check out The Daily Beast’s gallery of royal watchers who have been driven to their dark place by the impending nuptials. But for many of us, a wedding between strangers, is just that, two people you don’t know tying the knot in a far off country that has a quaint little monarchy. Just because you don’t want to watch the wedding, doesn’t mean you can’t collect the commemorative …er, barf bags.

But, since the royal wedding is taking over much of the early morning television dial, what are you to do if you are an insomniac or an early riser and a royal wedding just isn’t your cup of tea? Well, you could look at Life’s collection of photos of Animals Getting Married. Or you could DVR Steve Carell’s last episode of “The Office” which airs tonight at 9 p.m. ET and watch it again and again as you cry. Or you can take a look at our list of five things we would rather be watching at 6 a.m. than the royal wedding. Although, realistically, we will be sleeping or watching our coffee maker as it drips.

5. “Angel” on TNT. The spin-off of “Buffy the Vampire Slayer” follows Angel (David Boreanaz) as he leaves Sunnydale for a life of supernatural crime fighting in Los Angeles. Assisted by a motley crew of former watchers, paranormal pals, and Cordelia, the show is a fun way to spend an hour in the Whedon-verse.

4. “I Love Lucy” on Hallmark. Start your day with the wacky hijinx of Lucille Ball, Desi Arnaz, Vivian Vance, and William Frawley. You never know where an episode of “I Love Lucy” will end up, but you know you will be laughing. Also, pretty sure Lucy would agree that chocolate is actually the breakfast of champions.

3. “Snoop Dogg Takeover” on FUSE. In what is probably the opposite of the royal wedding, Snoop Dogg is taking over the airways of the Fuse Network beginning at 6 a.m. Perhaps he will be offering his own color commentary on the regal proceedings? The only way to find out is to tune in.

2. “Benny & Joon” on IFC. The 1993 film “Benny and Joon” is an almost love story between Joon, a mentally ill painter played by Mary Stuart Masterson, and Sam, an extremely quirky young man who spends his life as Buster Keaton. The blossoming friendship between Joon and Sam is almost destroyed when Joon’s caretaker, her overprotective older brother Benny (Aidan Quinn), finds out about their relationship.

1. “Rear Window” on HBO SG. Alfred Hitchcock’s classic thriller stars Jimmy Stewart as a photographer with a broken leg and a view to a kill. Or so he thinks. Even his girlfriend played by Grace Kelly isn’t convinced he saw a murder. Is it his imagination running away with him? Or a dastardly deed done and he is the only witness? If you haven’t seen “Rear Window,” get on with it already! It’s a great movie and you deserve nice things.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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