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5 Pro-Tips For Dominating the SXSW Party Scene

5 Pro-Tips For Dominating the SXSW Party Scene (photo)

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South By Southwest insiders all know the letters “SXSW” are actually code for “I convinced my employer to let me go to Austin for a few days to embark upon a relentless assault of open bar parties under the guise of doing actual ‘work’.” But as awesome as that sounds, anyone who has been to South By can tell you the party scene can also be a total a nightmare: Ridiculous lines, pushy “bloggers”, low supplies of branded booze (you know, the stuff nightmares are made of). In order to avoid those kinds of hassles, here are 5 pro tips for SXSWinning the party scene in Stratlandia.

1. Stay jacked in to the latest party data. Helpful resources include the SXSW 2011 Unofficial Master Sched, Plancast’s SXSW Events Guide, and the Do512 lists. Also, be sure to follow the SXSW Party List on Twitter for all your breaking party developments and situations.

2. There are literally like 957 apps for that. Foursquare was all the rage last year, so expect to download whichever wackily-named new location/sharing/meetup apps Austin collectively decides to use this year in order to find out about all the latest underground top-secret after-after pool parties where Ashton and I will be hanging out.

3. RSVP For Everything. As I said in my South By South Best guide, “ABRSVP”: Always Be RSVP’ing. You’ll probably only make it to about one in ten parties you RSVP for, but you want to make sure your bases are covered and you’re on the list at as many events as possible.

4. Demand to be on the VIP list. If they don’t have a VIP list, demand they make one just for you.

5. If you’re having a party and you want it to matter, make sure you tell me about it. Let’s face facts, if a party happens in the SXSW forest, and I’m not there to personally attend, cover and crush it, did it really even happen? No. So reach out at BajillionHits at gmail dot com, and let me know what’s up.


How To Be South By South Best

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Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

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Wedding Planners

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Disaster Hut

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Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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