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DID YOU READ

What to Watch on IFC: February 14 – 20

What to Watch on IFC: February 14 – 20 (photo)

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It’s Valentine’s Day! While you stuff your face with candy hearts and rose petals, be on the look out for a winged chubby infant who wants to shoot you in the back with love arrows. Down champagne and stare lovingly into your sweetheart’s eyes (or into the mirror, this is a no judgment zone) while pink fluffy hearts appear over your head and birds spontaneously burst into song. But man (and woman) can’t live on Whitman’s Samplers and love alone. So by the end of the week when the chocolates all gone and all that remains of the love is the handles, watch some television on IFC to soothe your soul and warm the cockles of your heart. We love you long time.

Here’s what to watch this week on IFC:

Monday

If you don’t have a special relationship of your own, you may as well spend the evening watching Michael Bluth and Marta elevate their relationship on Arrested Development. Besides, you’re so pretty when you laugh. Tune in at 10 p.m. ET.

Tuesday

Ready to yell, “Cacao!” at all the schlocky Valentine’s Day nonsense? Watch “Maximum Overdrive” at 8 p.m.. Nothing like demonic semi trucks to cleanse your palate from all that love. Make sure to stay tuned for Portlandia at 9:30 p.m. We hear the Mayor is openly reggae.

Wednesday

By now you are probably ready to throttle the next display of half-off chocolate-filled hearts you see on display at the drugstore. Do we have the antidote to sugar for you: “Hard Candy” airs at 11:45 p.m. ET.

Thursday

Daniel Craig serves up a slice of “Layer Cake” at 8 p.m. ET. Trust us, it’s sweet, but it’s not sweet, if you know what we mean.

Friday

Friday night means new episodes of the nation’s number one news source, The Onion News Network, and Portlandia, where a new music festival has the residents in a tizzy. But it wouldn’t be Friday without an awesome movie, too, say watch Evil Dead 2 at 11:35 p.m. ET

Saturday

Spend the afternoon in Los Angeles. Or at least in the quirky, kinky, surreal version of Los Angeles as captured in the Coen Brothers film, “Barton Fink“, which starts at 3:15 p.m. ET.

Sunday

Didn’t make it to church on Sunday? No fear, you will spend lots of time praying when you watch one of the scariest movies of all timeThe Vanishing — when it airs at 2:30 p.m. ET. Prefer to spend the day laughing? We have back to back episodes of the Onion News Network, too, beginning at 12:20 p.m. ET. Here’s the ONN reporting on the election of the nation’s first openly drunk senator:

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…