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Today’s Time Suck: “January”

Today’s Time Suck: “January” (photo)

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A warm front may be working its way across the United States like a continent-sized comforter, but let’s get serious, winter’s not over yet. Not by a long shot. March, with its ice storms and frigid temps, hasn’t begun. This is not the time to excavate cargo shorts from the attic. Instead, embrace the winter. Sap the season for every romantic, idealistic, magical drop it contains. Catch a few snowflakes on your tongue – even if they’re the digital kind.

In “January,” a browser game by composer Rich Vreeland (Fez, Drawn to Live: The Next Chapter), the red-capped character collects snowflakes with his mouth muscle. Each melted flake plucks a musical note that, over the course of the game, form a tune.

This isn’t “Halo” or “Heavy Rain,” there are no explosions or expository cut scenes. There’s no princess or castle at the end of the stage. Snow-caked boots carry a young man to a log cabin, where the game restarts — another snowy tune waiting to be composed. It’s subtle, relaxing and a little pointless, you know, in a good way. Only using the arrow keys to move, the other hand can handle hot coca duties.

Winter is here. Enjoy it. And if you live in Hawaii and the weather is perfect and so is your tan, you should know this is what snow season is like for the rest of us. What you’ve heard about catching the flu and falling on ice: lies. Just romantic, gentle, musical snow flurries. Be jealous.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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