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Michael Phelps Wants You to Swim in the Living Room

Michael Phelps Wants You to Swim in the Living Room (photo)

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Microsoft’s Kinect is like a lake of potential trapped beneath a dense rock of mediocre video games. It is fundamentally a video game peripheral, but the hacking community has successfully stripped the device of its original purpose and have found a sort of magical gizmo that accomplishes any number of things from real-time 3D modeling to this stuff. We would love to see Kinect games that juice the device for all its pulpy potential with a similar squeeze, but for whatever reason developers seem determined to complicate the process. Take 505 Game’s latest creation: a Michael Phelps swimming game titled “Michael Phelps Push the Limits.”

How? Really, how will Kinect’s infrared camera track the player’s body? Will we lie stomach flat on the floor, batting our arms in front of us? Will we need a table to back onto for the backstroke? Will we stand straight up and flail our hands like an antebellum auntie caught in a train robbery?

None of these options appeal to us. They sound humiliating.

We’ve been so busy worrying about our arm’s motions, but hat about our feet?

It’s almost like the company thinks they can slap a 16-time Olympic medal winner on a fitness game and expect us suckers to pony up. Well we’ve got one question for them! Where do we pre-order? These arms aren’t going to thrash on their own.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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