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The Unofficial IFC Gift Guide

The Unofficial IFC Gift Guide (photo)

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Tick tock, tick tock. The number of shopping days in which you can safely get away without paying exorbitant overnight shipping fees and still get presents into deserving (or at least, greedy) hands by Christmas are swiftly trickling away. Whatever shall you buy your nearest and dearest to both say “I love you” and “There’s a recession on, bitches”? Don’t worry, IFC is here to help all you procrastinators and mall haters with your Christmas shopping needs. With our list and your credit card, while Santa’s still trying to cram that 96″ 3-D enabled plasma screen television down the chimney, you will be done shopping and sitting by the fireplace, cracking open an Old Style, chomping on a candy cane, and listening to rappers singing, “Ho ho ho.” And that is the true meaning of Christmas.

Here’s What to Buy To Make Your Friends Happy and Santa Jealous:

11. Tupac and/or Mickey Rourke Art. Heck, pay an artist to air brush them both onto the back of your acid-washed jean jacket.

10. Bob Dylan’s Hand-Written Lyrics. Perfect for your baby boomer parents who haven’t yet recognized that Kanye West is the new Bob Dylan. Or was it M. Ward is the new Bob Dylan? Or maybe Bob Dylan is the new Bob Dylan? Whatever, just buy it.

9. Porn. Every man in your family will totally get it. In fact, it would be on the top of their Christmas list if they weren’t convinced those little elves would swipe it for themselves.

8. Stocking Stuffers. People don’t hang their socks on the wall for nothing! Fill those puppies with a variety of excellent DVDs, including all the extras.

7. Red Faction: Guerrilla. Our resident gamer is playing a level a day of this game. Buy a copy so you and all your friends can play along at home.

6. A Geekgasm. When you give the geeks on your list the DVD trio of “Inception” “Cronos” and “Videodrome”, you are giving love and understanding.

5. A Field of Dreams. Or rather the field of dreams.

4. The 10 Best Straight-to-DVD releases of the year. Help your friends and loved ones increase their indie cred by introducing them to some excellent movies that weren’t shown at the local cineplex.

3. The Danny Elfman Music Box. You know you want it, so of course your grandma does too.

2. Wilco Coffee. Wake up to the fresh taste of Jeff Tweedy in your cup. Mmmm.

1. The Corleone Mansion. If anyone on your list claims they don’t want this, just call them “Fredo” until they change their mind. For infinity if necessary.

See also: Chuck Norris Gift Guide


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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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