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DID YOU READ

Randy Quaid and the Hollywood Star Whackers

Randy Quaid and the Hollywood Star Whackers (photo)

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I interviewed Randy Quaid once. It was at the Sundance Film Festival in January of 2008. Quaid was the star of the opening night film at Slamdance, “Real Time.” Quaid was on time and polite (if a little standoffish), and he seemed to have a lot of fun joking around with his co-star Jay Baruchel both before and during our interview. I’ve definitely met Hollywood people who seemed weirder and more clearly under the influence of unspecified substances.

That said, there was something about Quaid that struck me as a little… off. Most stars at Sundance look extremely uncomfortable in the freezing cold of Park City. They’re fresh off the plane from Los Angeles where it’s 70 degrees. The last time any of them even saw snow was watching a Christmas movie. Quaid, on the other hand, looked like a fashion designer who’d lost his mind and became a survivalist. He had this big, bushy beard and was wearing this enormous full-length fur coat and for some reason both the coat and the beard were the same exact shade of brown (here’s a picture of Quaid in the ensemble at “Real Time”‘s Slamdance premiere).

I always think about that day when I read about Quaid in the news. He and his wife Evi are in the news a lot, unfortunately. They’re always missing court dates or being accused of felony vandalism or missing court dates on charges of felony vandalism. Their behavior is so extreme — running out on enormous hotel bills, squatting in homes that don’t belong to them — it’s almost hard to believe.

Not as hard to believe, though, as the Quaid’s explanations for said behavior, which is detailed in a fascinating article in the new Vanity Fair. “The Quaid Conspiracy” by Nancy Jo Sales catches up with the Quaids on the lam in Canada, seemingly living out of their Prius (“Priuses are deceptively roomy,” says Randy). The whole piece is a mesmerizing read, but the real highlight is Sales’ rundown of the Quaids’ case against the “Hollywood star whackers” who they believe have killed Heath Ledger and David Carradine and have now set their sights on them:

“The lawsuit alleges that a cabal of crafty Hollywood lawyers, estate planners, and accountants maneuvered to turn the house into a sort of at-the-ready cash machine full of endless equity, all in Randy and Evi’s name…starting around 1983, Randy’s lawsuit goes on, the corrupt clique set up a fake living trust in order to steal more of his money, including residuals he was still owed by Warner Bros., which released the ‘Vacation’ movies. They allegedly used a falsified probate file for a fictional, deceased Santa Barbara woman named Ronda L. Quaid (‘Rond-ALL Quaid? Randall Quaid?,’ Evi kept repeating meaningfully) to cash Randy’s checks at City National Bank and deposit the money into the fake trust account.

But of course, Ronda L. Quaid was not a boogeywoman invented by some sort of fiendish conspiracy. She was a teacher and horse enthusiast; Vanity Fair even spoke to some of her friends (or did they?!?). Though Sales’ piece certainly takes everything the Quaids’ say with an enormous grain of salt, she also does an impressive job of avoiding the urge — and it was surely a hard one to resist — to just mock these crazy people. Instead, she paints a portrait of a screwed up couple whose love is as genuine as their insanity.

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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