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Not Your Mother’s “Tomb Raider”

Not Your Mother’s “Tomb Raider” (photo)

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I am officially caught up in the mostly Game Informer-generated hype over the upcoming Tomb Raider reboot — not just because “Tomb Raider: Underworld” was a sublime, surprisingly visceral experience, and not because I’m a pervert obsessed with, um, looting Lara Croft’s digital booty. I’m intrigued by the idea that developer Crystal Dynamics will be attempting to generate an origin story for the shapely, tough-as-nails heroine years after she’s already been cemented in the public consciousness. (The cinematic equivalent might be if Marvel had waited until “Spiderman 4” to reveal how Peter Parker got his powers.) The choice is both a challenge and an opportunity, but judging from this excerpt from Game Informer’s interview with Crystal Dynamics’ Tim Longo, the developers are feeling ambitious:

“Characters are way more important in games now. Lara had always stayed in that 2-dimensional Teflon. It was more about the raw fantasy fulfillment of doing what she was doing, rather than her being someone that people cared about,” says Longo. “You have to give things to people before they know they want them.”

In other words, now, baby got backstory.

There’s little I can add to GI’s extensive, ongoing exploration of the Croft mythos and week-by-week updates on the new game’s development. So, allow me to veer off onto a potentially polarizing — possibly detestable — tangent: Is it me, or does the new Lara Croft look a bit like the “Twilight” saga’s angst-ridden ingenue Kristen Stewart? It’s not that far fetched an idea; the folks at Crystal Dynamics admit that they researched actresses while re-imagining the younger, more vulnerable Croft that will soon enough be cliff-jumping across our flat-screens. And, if the reboot does re-ignite global love for the buxom, adventurer with the British accent, there’s a better-than-average chance we could see a movie revamp as well.

Hmm… that gives me an idea for a list. Stay tuned…

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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