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Save Ezio’s Ego! IGN Promises “Full Synchronization” for AC Brotherhood

Save Ezio’s Ego! IGN Promises “Full Synchronization” for AC Brotherhood (photo)

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Two days ago, over a month after the game’s much-heralded release, posted a walkthrough of “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood.” The step-by-step guide promises not only to take the player through the game from beginning to end, but also to show one how to achieve 100% synchronicity on every single mission!

I am relieved. But, not because I’m planning to use this guide to go back and cross all the t’s, dot all the i’s, and properly stealth-murder all the corrupt clergymen I missed the first time around. (Perfect games are for pitchers, not casual gamers like me.) No, I’m relieved to know that I may not be the only devoted AC fan struggling with extreme feelings of inadequacy due to the phrase 50% SYNCH – FULL SYNCHRONIZATION FAILED.

For those not familiar with the game, it works like this: You (Ezio) are given a mission — which usually entails assassinating the hell out of someone, hence the franchise’s name. In the previous iterations, you were told who to kill, but hardly ever how. In “Brotherhood,” however, you are also given a method of termination, such as “Use the gun to kill the Overseer.” Successfully icing the target but failing to do so in the proscribed manner results in the requisite dead guy, but also the dreaded synch fail message — a hollow victory at best.

I get it. The new metric creates additional, more precise goals, encourages players not to simply stumble blindly through missions, and ultimately adds replay value to the game. So, what’s your beef, dude? You’re thinking, Just do it right. Well, call me old fashioned, but when I’m playing a game, I still like to at least pretend that I’m making decisions on the fly and according to my own temperament, not just fulfilling a preordained sequence of events. So, yeah, when I’m crouched atop a Roman villa tasked with ending some sinister Borgia captain’s reign of terror, I reserve the right to decide for myself the best way to spill the bastard’s blood, the hidden blade or the crossbow.

But maybe that’s just me.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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