Man, oh man, has there ever been a man quite like Jason Statham? Short answer: No. Well, maybe Genghis Khan, but he wasn’t nearly as smooth with the ladies. Longer answer: Jason Statham is a walking Y chromosome packing a six-shooter and a cold beer. He can drive a stick shift, roll a cigarette, take a ransom call, get a lady’s digits, and pound a Thundermuscle all at the same time. Hell, he can pound six Thundermuscles before breakfast. If Jason Statham dated your mom, you would just be proud …and a little jealous. He has held his own against Jet Li, Sylvester Stallone, and Saffron Burrows. He is almost out McQueen-ing Steve McQueen. He is one awesome m@#therf*@ker and he’ll bitch slap the femoral artery of anyone who disagrees.
In Crank, which airs tonight on IFC at 11 p.m. ET, Statham stars as professional assassin Chev Chelios (whose name implies that his parents knew his career path from birth) learns his nemesis has injected him with a poison that will kill him if his heart rate drops. It’s like Speed, but it’s Crank and Statham is the bus, because he is just that much of a man.
How awesome is Jason Statham? Let us count the ways:
Here is Statham in The Bank Job:
In The Transporter it is completely clear that you want Jason Statham on your side:
While Joan Allen may have been scarier than Statham in Death Race, he would still win in a fight:
Finally, here is in Crank keeping his adrenaline up or else:
‘Crank’ airs on IFC at 11 p.m. ET, awesome person hour