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“Bulletstorm” Will Make Consoles Cloudy with a Chance of Carnage Next Year

“Bulletstorm” Will Make Consoles Cloudy with a Chance of Carnage Next Year (photo)

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Epic Games churns out first-class shooters like Hostess makes cupcakes. They created crazy futuristic killing fields in their “Unreal Tournament games” on the PC and fueled tons of user-generated content with mod tools based on that game’s engine. Then, led by design director Cliff Bleszinski, they followed that with the “Gears of War” games, which have gone on to become–with “Halo”– the other tentpole of the hardcore fanbase on the Xbox 360.

So, to say their all-new “Bulletstorm” game is eagerly anticipated is an understatement. The sci-fi shooter diverges from the melancholy vibe of the “Gears” games and delivers an set of foul-mouthed debaucherous characters who slaughter their enemies with aplomb. You’ll be playing as Grayson Hunt, who leads a mercenary squad called Dead Echo. Hunt’s team worked for The Confederation of the Galaxy but found out that the powers-that-be were actually galactic bad guys. Grayson and crew go on the run and become pirates, boozing it up and hijacking other ships in a remote corner of the galaxy. They happen upon a Confederation cruiser entering the orbit of former pleasure planet Stygia, and Hunt impulsively decides to ram it. The impact sends it and his own ship hurtling to the planet, where the two factions fight it out amongst bizarrely mutated plant and animal life.

Bulletstorm Trailer – Hey Man Nice Shot

Aside from the rowdier tone, Epic’s trying some other new tricks with “Bulletstorm.” Chief among them is the Skill Kill system, which awards points for stylish and unique enemy deaths. Impaling a bad guy onto giant cacti gives you a Bad Touch Skill Kill and so on. Hunt’s more acrobatic than most FPS heroes, with a kick that sends enemies flying away from him and an energy leash that yanks them back. Combining those moves with a highly interactive environment promises to yield an abundance of random chaos filled with Skill Kills waiting to be discovered.

It’s not the just the development side of “Bulletstorm” that boasts a smart pedigree. The story’s being written by Rick Remender, whose creator-owned comic “Fear Agent” and work-for-hire contributions on Marvel’s “Punisher” have earned him accolades. As the trailer above attests, “Bulletstorm” will be a bawdy, NSFY (not safe for young’uns) affair, published by EA. Bleszinski’s promised that fans of Joss Whedon’s Firefly/Serenity properity will love the upcoming game. We’ll see if that’s the case when it hits next year.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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