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Smackdown: ‘American Psycho’ vs. ‘Wall Street 2’

Smackdown: ‘American Psycho’ vs. ‘Wall Street 2’ (photo)

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Quick: Who would you rather be stuck in an elevator with Patrick Bateman or Gordon Gekko?

Totally Gordon Gekko, right? Less likely to put an axe in your head is definitely a pro when considering elevator companions. But once you start thinking about it, you realize that Gordon Gekko might try to convince you that mortgage-backed securities weren’t that bad, that Bruno Magli loafers are classic style, that toxic assets just suffer from bad PR, getting all “Greed is Good”, and claiming that Bernard Madoff was just sloppy and if you slip him your life savings he’ll definitely make sure you’re a millionaire before your retire at 90. Suddenly, Elevator B sounds pretty doable. I mean, Patrick Bateman couldn’t get an axe or nail gun past security anyway, probably. Hopefully. Maybe you should just stay out of elevators for awhile.

Oliver Stone’s Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps is the much delayed sequel to his smash hit of greed gone wild, the more succinctly-named Wall Street. Michael Douglas starred as the money-grubbing Gordon Gekko who would do anything for a stock tip and screw anyone for a buck. Wall Street 2 finds him softened after spending 20 years in jail for his considerable albeit financial crimes. Patrick Bateman is not soft. Not at all. And his crimes are not financial. He stems from Bret Easton Ellis’ novel American Psycho, where he lives and breathes Wall Street, but releases his stress with ice masks, exercise, and, oh yeah, brutally murdering people.

Both charming characters, for sure. Now an elevator ride is pretty short, so who would you rather spend two hours with? A confirmed psycho with good hygiene or a man who fleeced America and made grandma eat cat food during her dotage? Analyze the trailers and compare the characters for yourself. But, before you answer, remember that American Psycho is airing for free tonight on IFC at 11:15 p.m. ET. You can use your savings to short sell some yogurt or something.

Here’s Christian Bale in American Psycho:

Here’s Michael Douglas (and, fine, Shia LaBoeuf) in Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps:

American Psycho airs on IFC at 11:15 p.m. ET; Wall Street 2: Money Never Sleeps will cost you $12 at your local movie theater.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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