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“Kane & Lynch” Movie Adaptation Firing Blanks

“Kane & Lynch” Movie Adaptation Firing Blanks (photo)

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Drama seems to follow Kane & Lynch wherever they go. First, their debut action game–“Kane & Lynch: Dead Men”– kicked up allegations of payola when then-editor Jeff Gerstmann was fired from website after writing a negative review. Next up, a mini-controversy raged when Jamie Foxx was cast as James Lynch, who’s a balding Caucasian schizophrenic in the game. Bruce Willis-who’d be playing Adam ‘Kane’ Marcus-fall more into type as the mercenary who falls into an uneasy criminal partnership with Lynch.

But, the most cursed thing about the third-person crime drama has been the game of musical chairs that’s plagued the director spot. The first man set to helm the adaptation of the IO Interactive-developed game was Simon Crane, who served as stunt co-ordinator on “Salt” and both “Tomb Raider” movies. When he bailed, Wayne Kramer (“Running Scared”) was being talked up to take the baton. In the same time period, F. Gary Gray (“Friday”) had his name bandied about as well. It finally looked like producers had found their man in Patrick Alessandrin (“District B13: Ultimatum”) but the LA Times is reporting that he’s no longer on the project.

It doesn’t help that the games themselves have become symbolic of what happens overly ambitious storytelling gets hitched to half-baked design. (The latest game in the series, “Kane & Lynch: Dog Days” came out to middling reviews this summer.) The “K&L” games do a decent job of establishing tone and urgency through characterization and have the occasional gem of a good idea but they’re just not that differentiated from other mediocre shooters in terms of gameplay. Still, you can say what you want about the games but they’re still getting made. The film version of “Kane & Lynch” may not be able to say the same if the current struggle to find a helmer keeps up.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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