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DID YOU READ

Disc Covering: “The Confidant,” and the Bell Curve of Stardom

Disc Covering: “The Confidant,” and the Bell Curve of Stardom (photo)

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The careers of most Hollywood actors can be plotted along a bell curve: anonymity, attention, success, stardom, struggle, decline, anonymity. Most of the recognizable stars who’ve appeared in movies featured thus far in this straight-to-DVD column have been at the tail end of the bell curve. This week’s a little different. We’ve got a movie starring a guy right on the cusp of a breakout: Boris Kodjoe, one of the leads of J.J. Abrams’ new series, “Undercovers.” That’s fortunate timing indeed for the makers of “The Confidant,” released to DVD just in time to take advantage of his increased exposure. And if the show takes off at all, he won’t be making too many more movies like it. At least not until he gets to the other side of the bell curve.

The Confidant
Directed by Alton Glass

09142010_confidant2.jpgTagline:“When Your Closest Friend Becomes Your Worst Enemy”

Tweetable Plot Synopsis: Gambling addicted former football star (and current douche) must deal with the return of the man who went to jail for a crime he committed.

Salable Elements: Kodjoe right on the cusp of stardom; an ensemble full of names that look good on a DVD cover including rapper David Banner, original Shaft Richard Roundtree, Bai Ling, and DTV Hall of Famer Billy Zane; a salacious storyline with a fair amount of nudity.

Biggest Success: “The Confidant” has a perfect pulp fiction premise: a cocky college football star named Nigel (Kodjoe) on the verge of signing a huge pro contract gets into a fight with a guy at a poker game and winds up killing him in self-defense. He convinces his friend Daniel (David Banner) to take responsibility for the murder so he can stay out of trouble and in line for his big payday. Daniel reluctantly agrees, and winds up locked away for eleven years (apparently the fact that the victim was Billy Zane was looked upon favorably during sentencing).

Now we fast-forward to the present: Daniel gets released, and finds Nigel washed-up with a bad knee, mounting debts, a gambling problem, and a emotionally fakakta wife (Kenya Moore). Daniel wants compensation for his sacrifice. Nigel wants to keep his secret buried. What to do? By the midway point of “The Confidant” the answer for all parties, unfortunately, is “Act really crazy and stupid.” But kudos to writer/director Alton Glass for dreaming up the idea for the best ’90s sleazefest Paul Verhoeven never made.

09142010_confidant3.jpgBiggest Failure: Kodjoe’s a handsome guy, and he has the charisma to carry a movie, even one as logically challenged as this one. Even if “Undercovers” doesn’t hit, he’s got a bright future. But I’m not sure I can say the same for co-star David Banner. He’s got a good thousand yard stare and he makes a competent and totally believable badass. But his dialogue readings are painfully stilted, and when the screenplay asks him to do anything beyond simple menace, he looks out of his depth. Also, you’d think a popular musician who’s enjoyed his share of partying on tour would know how to play drunk. Not quite. As rapper-turned-actors go, Banner’s not bad, but not great, sort of a poor man’s Ja Rule, who’s sort of a poor man’s DMX who, by the way, looks like a very strong candidate for next year’s DTV Hall of Fame class.

Best Moment: Banner’s intimidating demeanor play perfectly into one of Glass’s most clever directorial decisions: he cast another actor to play Daniel in the flashback scenes that show how he wound up taking the fall for Nigel. Typically you’d just have the same actors play these parts; Kodjoe and Banner could easily pass for early twentysomethings for a couple of scenes. Instead Glass got a younger, innocent looking guy to play Daniel so that when the character emerges from prison eleven years later, he is a new man, both figuratively and literally. It’s a risky choice, but it pays off, since it sells the toll life behind bars had on Daniel in a way that Banner’s performance doesn’t.

09142010_confidant4.jpgI Question: whether a man desperately trying to keep his wife from discovering his criminal past would encourage the man who took credit for said criminal past (and is bitterly angry about it) to live with him in a big empty mansion where he can try to seduce his wife for revenge. Wouldn’t it be smarter to set the guy up with some money and stash him in a condo somewhere? Of course, but then there would be no movie.

Worthy of a Theatrical Release? No. The production values are on the lower end of the DTV scale, and the third act is a mess of crazy ass plot twists and maudlin dream sequences. But the germ of the story here is so juicy. Instead of remaking another popular film from the 1980s, Hollywood should take a movie like this one that doesn’t quite work and tweak it into form. And by the time it happens, Kodjoe’ll probably be a big enough star to anchor that version too.

For Further Viewing: watch Paul Verhoeven defend one of his understood and underappreciated ’90s sleazefests, in a brief excerpt from his DVD commentary for “Starship Troopers”:

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…

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A-O Rewind

Celebrating Portlandia One Sketch at a Time

The final season of Portlandia approaches.

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GIFs via Giphy

Most people measure time in minutes, hours, days, years…At IFC, we measure it in sketches. And nothing takes us way (waaaaaay) back like Portlandia sketches. Yes, there’s a Portlandia milepost from every season that changed the way we think, behave, and pickle things. In honor of Portlandia’s 8th and final season, Subaru presents a few of our favorites.

via GIPHY

Put A Bird On It

Portlandia enters the pop-culture lexicon and inspires us to put birds on literally everything.

Colin the Chicken

Who’s your chicken, really? Behold the emerging locavore trend captured perfectly to the nth degree.

Dream Of The ’90s

This treatise on Portland made it clear that “the dream” was alive and well.

No You Go

We Americans spend most of our lives in cars. Fortunately, there’s a Portlandia sketch for every automotive situation.

A-O River!

We learned all our outdoor survival skills from Kath and Dave.

One More Episode

The true birth of binge watching, pre-Netflix. And what you’ll do once Season 8 premieres.

Catch up on Portlandia’s best moments before the 8th season premieres January 18th on IFC.

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