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Simon Cowell Sued For Barbarism, Chris Isaak May Step In

Simon Cowell Sued For Barbarism, Chris Isaak May Step In (photo)

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A former “Britain’s Got Talent” contestant has brought a suit against Simon Cowell that likens him to a dark ages barbarian. Wild woman Emma Amelia Pearl Czikai, who seemed cheery enough when she appeared on the show in May 2009, filed the suit for £2.5 million or $3.8 million, according to the Hollywood Reporter.

Czikai, a former nurse, claims the show and the snarky judges are in the business of “exploitation, humiliation, degradation and barbarism,” and wants the huge sum for injured feelings and loss of earnings compensation — nurses in the UK must have it good. I don’t know what else she expected, exploitation, humiliation, degradation and barbarism, might as well be the show’s actual tagline.

There’s something to her particular spin on the obvious though. “This program makes a select number of rich people very, very rich on the backs of the ordinary man and woman in the street through exploitation, humiliation, degradation and a re-emergence of modern-day barbarism with all its inherent cruelty,” Czikai said about the “American Idol” spawn.

Here’s her original performance on the show. It hardly seems real, more like an audition for a new singing teacher at Hogwarts.

In somewhat related news, though having nothing to do with the lawsuit, the once cool Chris “Wicked Game” Isaak might replace Cowell on “American Idol.” That would be a tremendous fall for Isaak, but then again, it’s been a while since David Lynch picked him to be Special Agent Chester Desmond.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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