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Nick Cave Pens “The Crow” Remake

Nick Cave Pens “The Crow” Remake (photo)

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One Halloween in college I put on black vinyl pants and white face paint and went around at parties whispering comfortingly, “It can’t rain all the time,” to the girls in their obligatory harlot costumes. I don’t think the tagline of 1994’s “The Crow” stuck with them, but it stuck with fans of the Alex Proyas film, which is getting a remake. In fact, The Wrap reports the screenplay is being re-written by Nick Cave.

While 2005’s “The Proposition” was a brilliant example of Cave’s writing prowess (he also scored it with Warren Ellis) other recent attempts at screenwriting have not come to fruition. Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott approached him to bring a “Gladiator” sequel to life at one point, and gave him the task of solving the problem of the main character’s death in the first film. Cave’s solution was a tale of Gods and reincarnation, with Crowe moving through time slaughtering unbelievers, living through WWII and into the modern age.

Some have called it batshit. Frankly, it sounded awesome to me, like an exploration of George C. Scott’s past life monologue in “Patton” where he tells General Omar Bradley (Karl Malden) about being at the battle of Carthage 2000 years prior. But you can imagine that the look on the studio exec’s faces were not unlike Malden’s when they declined to make the film.

There must be something solid about this Crow remake if Cave is on board. “I’m very comfortable in my day job as a musician,” Cave said about the previous “Gladiator” effort, talking to the Guardian. “The last thing I ever wanted to get involved with is Hollywood. The way it works is that people get an idea you could possibly do something, but there’s a one-in-a-hundred chance that it could get made. It’s a waste of fucking time, and I have a lot to do.”

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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