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DID YOU READ

Yo ho, an (Internet) pirate’s life for some.

Yo ho, an (Internet) pirate’s life for some. (photo)

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Download movies off the Internet if you must, but make no mistake: what you are doing is illegal and immoral. Even more unsavory than actually downloading, though, is the strained attempt by some who practice piracy to justify it on moral grounds. Consider this story published yesterday on Boing Boing about an e-mail exchange between movie producer Nicolas Chartier and a piracy advocate named Nicholas.

After reading that Chartier’s Voltage Pictures was preparing to sue people who’d downloaded the Voltage-produced “The Hurt Locker” off of BitTorrent, Nicholas decided to voice his displeasure with an e-mail to the man himself. His note was, if nothing else, exceedingly polite: “I wish to register my disagreement with these tactics, and would like you to know that as a result of these actions I am boycotting your films,” Nicholas wrote. “The majority of the people you are suing were not seeking to make money from their downloads, and will be financially devastated by a lawsuit or settlement. While it is completely understandable that Voltage Pictures wishes to defend its intellectual property, this is an inhumane way of doing so.”

Chartier, who has a history of getting himself into trouble via e-mail, responded to Nicholas with a letter of his own. His note was, if nothing else, exceedingly rude. “I’m glad you’re a moron who believes stealing is right,” Chartier replied. “I hope your family and your kids end up in jail one day for stealing so maybe they can be taught the difference. Until then, keep being stupid, you’re doing that very well. And please do not download, rent, or pay for my movies, I actually like smart and more important HONEST people to watch my films.”

05192010_pirates.jpgCertainly, it’s tough to side with someone that incredibly harsh. But that doesn’t mean Chartier doesn’t have a point; letter-writing Nicholas is protesting the idea of Chartier suing people who are stealing his work. Nicholas’s argument is that the people who downloaded “The Hurt Locker” illegally did so to watch the film and not to make money off of it — sort of an arrest-the-drug-dealer-but-not-the-drug-user mentality. Nicholas, it seems, has bought into the “Robin Hood”-esque take-from-the-rich, enjoy-by-the-poor mystique of Internet piracy: that because media companies and filmmakers are so wealthy, regular folks with less money are entitled to download their work for free. (By the way, what, exactly, is Nicholas going to boycott? Not paying to watch Chartier’s movies?)

If you want to boycott Chartier’s work because you don’t like his attitude, that’s your right. What’s not your right is to download his movies off the Internet for free because they’re available and it’s easy to do. Just because guys like Chartier are rich (and, apparently, sorely lacking in people skills) doesn’t give you permission to take their stuff.

[Photos: “The Hurt Locker,” Summit Entertainment, 2008; “Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End,” Walt Disney Pictures, 2007.]

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…