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Chris Klein and the cruel comedy of audition tapes.

Chris Klein and the cruel comedy of audition tapes. (photo)

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Poor Chris Klein. It’s bad enough that the guy has been reduced to appearing in stuff like “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.” Now, he has to deal with the fact that late last week someone leaked a tape of his failed audition for the movie version of “Mamma Mia!” online.

After some awkward small talk, Klein says, “Let’s go, shall we? Before I embarrass myself further,” then proceeds to embarrass himself further and farther and more intensely than most of us will ever do in our lives.

For three-and-a-half excruciating minutes, Klein absolutely butchers ABBA’s “Lay All Your Love On Me.” Flat notes, vocal cracks, intense stares to camera, eyebrows that defy logic and gravity by refusing to go down — it’s beyond terrible; it’s guy-on-“American Idol”-who-can’t-sing-but-who-gets-to-audition-for-the-judges-so-Simon-can-make-fun-of-him terrible.

Good sport that he is, Klein has made his own self-deprecating response video, in which he flunks auditions for “Twilight,” “Dreamgirls,” and more. But it doesn’t do much to erase the discomfort of the original. And while everyone’s falling all over themselves to make fun of Klein (including, let’s not forget, Klein himself), we should remember that most auditions are incredibly, incredibly awkward. Every actor has bad ones; most actors are just lucky that they don’t wind up on the Internet in front of millions and millions of people.

Even successful auditions can get awkward. Christopher Reeve scored the role of his life with a great reading of the rooftop flirtation scene between The Man of Steel and Lois Lane from “Superman.” But the poor guy was so nervous, he sweated through his tights; he spends almost the entire scene in the classic superhero hands-on-hips pose, revealing some not-so-super pit stains (the evidence is in the below clip, beginning around 2:17):

Seth Rogen was still an unpolished Canadian teenager when he auditioned for a role in “Freaks and Geeks.” Judd Apatow, the show’s producer, cast Rogen, then brought him along to his next show, “Undeclared,” encouraged him to write, and turned him into a movie star. It all started with this one very nervous audition. Look at the way Rogen fidgets and fixes his shirt; see the deer-in-the-headlights stare. Does this look like the audition of the future young king of mainstream comedy?

Or consider these two auditions by “300” and “The Ugly Truth”‘ star Gerard Butler, reading for the role of Dracula in “Dracula 2000” — or at least I think these are two auditions for “Dracula 2000.” Sporting a terrible heavy metal wig and guyliner, Butler is so hilariously over-the-top that if I didn’t know he ultimately got the part, I’d swear this was a parody à la Chris Klein’s face-saving Funny or Die sketch. Judge for yourself:

This is why there are casting directors. It’s up to them to see past these unrefined moments to the potential underneath. That doesn’t make the process any less strange or, at times, any less of a crapshoot. To wit, here’s a funny scene that lampoons that very idea from Shane Black’s “Kiss Kiss Bang Bang,” in which Robert Downey Jr. plays a robber who hides out from the police at a casting call with unexpected results:

Now, that is a great audition. But, please Chris Klein, don’t get any ideas and show up to your next one bleeding.

On the plus side, Klein’s fridge-nuking moment is about to be replaced in the public consciousness by another hilariously weird audition, this one featuring (and put online by) silicon-based life form Heidi Montag. In it, Montag tries to prove to Michael Bay that she’s ready to take over for Megan Fox in “Transformers 3” by clumsily shooting a pistol on a gun range. I wonder if she knows any ABBA songs.

[Photo: “Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun Li, 20th Century Fox, 2009]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

Uncle-Buck

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…