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Casting the supporting bloggers on HBO’s “Tilda.”

Casting the supporting bloggers on HBO’s “Tilda.” (photo)

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Entertainment Weekly reported yesterday that Diane Keaton is close to signing on to play the title role in the upcoming HBO series “Tilda,” a show described by EW as “a half-hour comedy series about a powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger that is not based on powerful and much-feared Hollywood blogger Nikki Finke.”

The show will probably feature characters from all walks of Hollywood life from studio execs to movie stars; you can practically smell the impending “Entourage” crossover. But if Keaton is not playing Finke, the influential and notorious editor in chief of, series producers Bill Condon (“Dreamgirls,” “Gods and Monsters”) and Cynthia Mort (HBO’s “Tell Me You Love Me”) are definitely going to need actors to not play her competition in the world of L.A. blogging. With Keaton nearly locked down, here are some casting suggestions for the rest of the bunch.

04132010_DavidPolandArtieLange.jpgArtie Lange Not Playing Movie City News‘ David Poland

Lange’s hilarious evisceration of Joe Buck on the live premiere of Buck’s HBO talk show (so you know the network loves him!) is practically an audition tape for this kind of role. Poland is one of Finke’s most vocal and frequent critics — of the 18 stories Poland filed on his Hot Blog since last Tuesday, four mentioned Finke by name. Lange would be a logistical nightmare for the show — he’s still recovering from a suicide attempt last January — and he’d have to lose a bunch of weight for the role, too, but if he could pull himself together for it, he would be absolutely perfect as the guy who simply refuses under any circumstances to be a kiss ass.

04132010_HarveyLevinGarySinise.jpgGary Sinise Not Playing TMZ‘s Harvey Levin

Finke (or not Finke, sorry) isn’t the first blogger to get her own series. Celebrity and entertainment news site has had its own television show since the fall of 2007, hosted by the site’s managing editor Harvey Levin. TMZ is more about tabloid gossip, while is focused on insider business info, but two figures this powerful would make great adversaries for a season-long story arc. We like Gary Sinise for the part: like Levin, host and legal analyst for “The People’s Court,” he knows the New York justice system from “CSI: NY.” Plus, he’s got the right build, the right hairline and we wouldn’t mind hearing his version of Levin scream at Keaton’s character like Lt. Dan screamed at Forrest Gump.

04132010_SharonWaxmanGabriellecarteris.jpgGabrielle Carteris Not Playing The Wrap‘s Sharon Waxman

Some have speculated that the Tilda character will also include elements of former New York Times/Washington Post correspondent and current editor-in-chief of the entertainment news site, and it might. But even if it does, Tilda’s going to need a competitor, and a Waxmanish figure would fit the bill, especially in a storyline “ripped from the headlines” about her recent and ongoing feud with Newser‘s Michael Wolff over the ethics of web links and content aggregation (Mmm… content aggregation drama — smell the ratings!). As an actress, not only does Gabrielle Carteris resemble Ms. Waxman, she’s got plenty of experience playing the ethically minded, crusading journalist from her time as Andrea Zuckerman on “Beverly Hills, 90210.”

04132010_JeffreyWellsChristopherWalken.jpgChristopher Walken Not Playing Hollywood Elsewhere‘s Jeffrey Wells

In my mind, there’s only one guy to play Hollywood Elsewhere‘s lovably eccentric blogger Jeffrey Wells; the lovably eccentric Christopher Walken. Who else could bring Wells’ prose to life? Who else could speak convincingly about “emotionally vivid cowboy hats”? Who else could decry mildly overweight husbands of movie stars as “food monsters”? Who else could endear himself to us even as he crankily leaves a film festival before the panel he’d been flown out to participate in because he can’t get a decent Wi-Fi signal? Frankly, the idea of Walken as Wells sounds so good, it deserves its own HBO show.

[All photos property of their respective owners and used without permission]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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