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The Mayans predicted it: “Titanic” in 3D.

The Mayans predicted it: “Titanic” in 3D. (photo)

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For his next trick, James Cameron intends to grace us with a 3D version of “Titanic.” He’s aiming for 2012, which he says is both a realistic technical target and the 100th anniversary of the actual Titanic’s sinking.

Cameron seems to have missed a self-aggrandizing trick for once by failing to mention the surprisingly large numbers of people who sincerely believe the Mayans were right and the world will end in 2012 (an idea so surprisingly robust NASA had to issue a statement debunking it). “Titanic” is nothing if not an elegant apocalypse: the destruction of the ship has real heft to it, a bravura extended sequence in which Cameron flexing his action muscles towards a darker purpose.

Despite all those stupid CGI extras, much of “Titanic” has a compelling verisimilitude — few high-grossing blockbusters have ever looked so real. Cameron basically blew up the blockbuster paradigm he helped solidify with “Terminator 2” — something he’s also done with “Avatar,” which has to be one of the most long and indulgent movies to inspire conversations among complete strangers.

03162010_ghosts.jpgWill people go crazy for “Titanic” all over again? When the film hit theaters in 1997, it was a rare national collective moviegoing moment, and I assume most people have good memories of whenever they saw it (I did). The unusual set-piece nature of the action stuff made it hard to rip off, which will also prove true with “Avatar.”

But it’s fashionable now to hate on the film and call it silly (it’s really not bad at all), so you have to wonder how the re-release will play. James Cameron, for whatever reason, draws even more ire for his ego than George Lucas. A “Titanic” victory lap will probably launch more exclamation points and angry, all-caps posts than you’ve ever seen. Angry online types — you’ve got two years to prep.

[Photos: “Titanic,” Fox, 1997; “Ghosts of the Abyss,” Disney, 2003]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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