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3D vs. DVD: everyone loses.

3D vs. DVD: everyone loses. (photo)

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Given Tim Burton’s post-millennial decline and the seemingly designed-to-be-unwatchable Super Bowl spot for “Alice in Wonderland,” it’s clear the perfect storm of controversy over how the release will be of greater consequence than the film itself. With not enough 3D screens to go around and a bottleneck coming up towards the end of March, Hollywood’s financial wonderboy is about to be severely tested.

Plus Disney wants to collapse the window between theatrical and DVD release, leading to potential boycotts by theater chains in the UK and the Netherlands. This is going to get messy.

On one hand, Disney’s pushing 3D hard == “Alice” is meant to be the quadrant-busting 3D spectacle of spring, uniting families, fantasy geeks and technological nerds eager for their next post-“Avatar” fix. On the other hand, no one could ever claim that “Alice” is as spectacle-exclusive as “Avatar,” a movie whose emphasis on being groundbreaking isn’t replicable.

02162010_titans.jpgJack Malvern in the Times offers one of the least convincing reasons for collapsing the theater-to-DVD window — that the way to combat falling DVD sales is to release the DVD while the publicity campaign is still fresh in people’s minds.The article goes on to quote what Disney allegedly told exhibitors in every country to explain their desire to close the gap — World Cup in the UK, downturn of DVD sales during early march in the US, Father’s Day (!) in Canada. Clearly, someone is rationalizing as fast as possible.

Still, at a time when the industry is collectively holding its breath and hoping the 3D revenue bump is the answer to shifting business modals — taking it seriously this time, not with shoddy glasses and gimmicks — it seems counterproductive to simultaneously devalue the very thing that’s being promoted. DVD or 3D? No one knows, but wouldn’t it make more sense to collapse the window on non-event, non-3D movies while letting the big spectacles play as long and proftiably as possible, creating two tiers of priority? It would open the field back up for mid-budget movies while letting tentpoles dominate theaters, a sort of adoption of how IMAX movies play forever and ever, separating the blockbuster from modest.

[Photos: “Alice in Wonderland,” Disney, 2010; “Clash of the Titans,” Warner Bros, 2010]

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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