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DID YOU READ

Start the new year off with some iguana-cam.

Start the new year off with some iguana-cam. (photo)

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As we stand here, on the first day of our new decade, poised to try once more to make something out of ourselves…well, I’ll let you handle the resolutions, because I don’t believe in them. But allow me to help you clear your mind and enter a state of Zen acceptance.

Think back, if you will, to earlier last year, when the internet got very excited about the blatant insanity of the “Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans” trailer, particularly Nicolas Cage asking what, precisely, those iguanas were doing on his coffee table, only to be informed there were no iguanas there.

The movie then veers off into the infamous “iguana-cam” sequence, where our point of view is first and foremost that of the iguana, along with various shots of cage and said reptile contemplating each other.

It was not actually the first prominent use of an inexplicable iguana I’d seen. That would be in the video for Trevor Rabin‘s 1989 single “Something To Hold On To.” Rabin’s best known these days as the composer of vapid action jams for “Armageddon,” “National Treasure” and so on. But before that, Rabin was a member of Yes and, for a time, a failed solo artist.

01012010_iguana2.jpgPer Wikipedia, “The album’s lead single, ‘Something to Hold On To’, earned a Grammy for Best Music Video and topped the AOR charts for two weeks. But despite some positive reviews, and extensive marketing from Elektra Records neither ‘Something to Hold on To,’ nor Rabin’s anti-apartheid ballad ‘Sorrow (Your Heart)’ managed to crack the American Top-40 charts.” Sad.

“Something To Hold On To” goes beyond your standard pop/hair metal video: guitars and amps are destroyed, sure, and there’s a hot chick. But the production design appears misplaced from an “Alice in Wonderland” production, whose tacky wastelands would take forever to annotate properly. And then: enter iguana. I don’t understand, but this is the pinnacle of stupid ’80s ideas about what would be “arty” and “weird” (at least until Axl Rose rode with the dolphins). This’ll clear your head. Enjoy:

[Photos: “The Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans,” First Look, 2009; “Something To Hold On To,” Elektra Records; 1989]

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Final Countdown

The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at IFC.com

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Rev Up

Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Give Back

Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

It’s the final countdown to Christmas and thanks to IFC’s movie marathon all Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, you can revel in classic ’80s films AND find inspiration for your last-minute gifts. Here are our recommendations, if you need a head start:

Musical Instrument

Great analog entertainment substitute when you refuse to give your kid the Nintendo Switch they’ve been drooling over.

Breakfast In Bed

Any significant other or child would appreciate these Uncle Buck-approved flapjacks. Just make sure you’re not stuck on clean up duty.

Cocktail Supplies

You’ll need them to get through the holidays.

Dance Lessons

So you can learn to shake-shake-shake (unless you know ghosts willing to lend a hand).

Comfy Clothes

With all the holiday meals, there may be some…embigenning.



Get even more great inspiration all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC, and remember…