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Clash of the Titans, horrible hard rock score, Muse.

Clash of the Titans, horrible hard rock score, Muse. (photo)

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The original 1981 “Clash of the Titans,” was an authentic fantasy, what we used to call an epic adventure, before that word was mangled by leet teenagers on the internets. Though It employed stop motion, it still managed to dazzle with it’s special effects at the time, especially where it combined techniques – as it did with Bubo, the mechanical replica of the Goddess Athena’s owl (forged by Hephaestus for the hero Perseus).

The score by Laurence Rosenthal was one of those big adventure orchestrals that was marvelous at the time and kind of boring now. There was little or no Greek flair to it or any outstanding use of ancient woodwinds or lutes that I recall (I may be due for a full screening), but it served the mythological story well enough. That’s more than I can say for what has been done so far for Louis Leterrier’s remake due out in March. The “Incredible Hulk” director has teamed up again with composer Craig Armstrong and if the result is anything like that green lump of shit, it’s going to stink.

The loud, and extremely lame, hard rock score to the trailer is a disaster, cheapening what could have been a really tough first peek of a great cast – Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Sam Worthington, Danny Huston, and Mads Mikkelsen (“Casino Royale’s” Le Chiffre). I’m not yet sure what to make of the news that UK “alternative rockers” Muse may be doing the soundtrack.

“It’s something we’re up for doing – it’s just a case of timing because we’re always on tour,” he said. “Clash Of The Titans is the first interesting offer we’ve had for film work. We’re definitely interested in writing for films at some point when we get a break from being on the road.”

Maybe they’ll pull out something brilliant, it can’t be worse than the dull, fratboy score that’s already in the trailer. Note, one of the most lovable mechanical sidekicks in film history, Bubo (second only to R2D2) is conspicuously missing… maybe he boycotted this one.

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The Best Of The Last

Portlandia Goes Out With A Bang

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The end is near. In mere days Portlandia wraps up its final season, and oh what a season it’s been. Lucky for you, you can watch the entire season right now right here and on the IFC app, including this free episode courtesy of Subaru.

But now, let’s take a moment to look back at some of the new classics Fred and Carrie have so thoughtfully bestowed upon us. (We’ll be looking back through tear-blurred eyes, but you do you.)

Couples Dinner

It’s not that being single sucks, it’s that you suck if you’re single.

Cancel it!

A sketch for anyone who has cancelled more appointments than they’ve kept. Which is everyone.

Forgotten America

This one’s a “Serial” killer…everything both right and wrong about true crime podcasts.

Wedding Planners

The only bad wedding is a boring wedding.

Disaster Hut

It’s only the end of the world if your doomsday kit doesn’t include rosé.

Catch up on Portlandia’s final episodes on demand and at

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Your Portlandia Personality Test

The New Portlandia Webseries Is Going Your Way

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Carrie and Fred understand that although we have so much in common, we’re each so beautifully unique and different. To help us navigate those differences, Portlandia has found an easy and honest way to embrace our special selves in the form of a progressive new traffic system: a specific lane for every kind of driver. It’s all in honor of the show’s 8th and final season, and it’s all presented by Subaru.

Ready to find out who you really are? Match your personality to a lane and hop on the expressway to self-understanding.

Lane 10: Trucks Piled With Junk

Your junk is falling out of your trunk. Shake a tail light, people — this lane is for you.

Lane 33: Twins

You’re like a Gemini, but waaaay more pedestrian. Maybe you and a friend just wear the same outfits a lot. Who cares, it’s just twinning enough to make you feel special.

Lane 27: Broken Windows

Bad luck follows you around and everyone knows it. Your proverbial seat is always damp from proverbial rain. Is this the universe telling you to swallow your pride? Yes.

Lane 69: Filthy Cars

You’re all about convenience. Getting your car washed while you drive is a no-brainer.

Lane 43: Newly Divorced Singles

It’s been a while since you’ve driven alone, and you don’t know the rules of the road anymore. What’s too fast? What’s too slow? Are you sending the right signals? Don’t worry, the breakdown lane is nearby if you need it.

Still can’t find a lane to match your personality? Check out all the videos here. And see the final season of Portlandia this spring on IFC.

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Last-Minute Holiday Gift Guide

Hits from the '80s are on repeat all Christmas Eve and Day on IFC.

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GIFs via Giphy, Photos via The Everett Collection

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